Raven Feathers

Chapter Eight

The fireplace had been going nonstop for a few days. The orange flames would die out every half hour or so, and it required me to throw a freshly cut log into the heat. If the log was too saturated, it would simply sit there, waiting for me to pull it from the mantle, but for the most part, they caught. Then the flames danced up again in wild crackling flares as it burnt up the wood and fed on the oxygen. Fires had always interested me, but it was a dangerous friend to keep. The simplest miscalculation could lead to anything from maiming, severe burns, or a little singe; however, pain was almost always certain.

For that reason alone, I sat on the couch where the heat just barely touched. My knees were pulled up with my arms wrapped around them, so my chin was resting, easily. A white fleece blanket was thrown over my shoulders and fell down to my uncovered feet. I stared down into the fire and did my best not to think, but all of my worries buzzed around in my head, restlessly.

Mom shuffled into the living room and smiled at me. Her wet hair fell into her face and caused wet spots to form on her shoulders. In either hand she was holding a pale blue mug of hot chocolate. “Adele, I want to see a smile on you.” she said, sitting next to me. She handed me one of the mugs. “I understand you're upset about Norma, but it wasn't your fault. That door doesn't close all the way most of the time, and cat's are naturally curious creatures.”

I almost asked her what she was talking about when I remembered the cover story I had made up to explain what had happened. The story was short and simple. I had come home from school in a rough mood, so when I slammed the front door behind me, I didn't check to see if it had shut all the way. It had been left open a crack, and Norma, the strictly indoor cat, wandered out for a few hours. When I went out to take the garbage can to the end of the road, I found her curled up and hurt. I dropped everything and went to the vets.

“I know.” I lied. I looked down at my drink. It was slowly spinning in a clockwise direction from when she mixed in the powder.

Mom set hers down on the coffee table with a sigh. “The vet said she'll have to stay with him for another week or two, so he can be sure her ribs are setting the right way. I can't believe some animal got a hold of her and crushed her poor little ribs.” She shook her head in disgust. “But at least she's alive.” she said, smiling.

It took all I had not to snap at her; I was in no mood to deal with her and her attempt at empathy. I loved the woman to death, but she had some major flaws. Beyond her obsession with work and lack of sympathy, she often was blunt and inconsiderate; yet, somehow I was still able to love her and think highly of her. I figured if it had been anyone else, I would have looked down on them, but since she was 'Mom', she was suddenly a special case.

Her eyes were trained on me for a moment. “Is there anything you want to talk about?” she asked, suddenly. “I know I haven't been around much even though so much has happened recently, but if at anytime you want to have some mommy-to-daughter time, just say so. I'd do anything for you.” Her voice was soft but sincere. A small apologetic smile graced her face.

I tried to pull my knees even closer to me, but it wasn't possible. I bit on my bottom lip and gathered my thoughts. “M-mom, how do you trust people?” I asked, stammering for a single second. Warmth crept across my neck and cheeks as I looked anywhere but at her. “I mean, with everything that's happened with Dad-”

“I get it, Dear.” she said, stopping my halfhearted explanation. “Trusting someone is something you have to learn as you develop a relationship. To do that, you have to open yourself to them a little bit at a time, and if they're committed as well, they'll open themselves to you. Sometimes, the other person doesn't care enough for you and betrays any of the feelings you had for them. There's always a chance you're going to be hurt when you decide to let someone in, but it's a risk you have to take if you want a happy, healthy relationship.