My Stupid Senior (Troyler AU)

Chapter 33//Troye

Troye

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I lean forward and do the thing that I have been wanting to do for an impossibly long time. I tighten my grip on Tyler's face and I lean forward to kiss him. He seems surprised and I don't really blame him. I just stared at him for two minutes weighing whether or not it was worth it. I decide that it's worth it annual having his warm soft lips moving against mine compares to nothing. Tyler's hand are at the small of my back pushing me closer to him as he reaches up on his toes to keep our mouths together. My stomach is a mosh pit of butterflies. I can feel the spark. I can feel myself falling for this boy harder than before.

It's not really just a small kiss. I can feel how long Tyler's been wanting to do this. Tyler puts his hands under the layers of jackets that I'm wearing pushing his freezing hands against my hot skin. I jump and he giggles against my lips.

It's a few seconds before I pull away letting my hands drop to my side and stepping out of his touch. I find myself pressing my fingers to my lips as I feel my face heating up. Tyler's face closely resembles a strawberry and he has the hugest smile in the world on his face. Did I really make him that happy with one kiss?

"That was interesting." Tyler says looking down at his shoe rather than at me. That's one way of putting it. Like I know we like each other as more than friends but this changes everything. We can't just go back of pretending we are normal friends. He had to have felt what I felt. He has to know how perfect we could be.

"That's one way of putting it." I reply stupidly, I'm honestly a bit dazed by that kiss and Tyler almost smirking at me isn't really helping. Tyler turns away and starts walking through the arch. I follow him quickly catching up with him. He's looking at the ground with the highest smile on his face. Nothing could ruin this moment. We are both so happy. It's obvious that we both know that that was more than just a mistletoe kiss. I don't know how much this is going to change this right now but I'm fine with that.

I reach over slowly somewhat nervous to grab Tyler's hand weaving his fingers through mine. He looks down at our hands happily. He looks back into my eyes and I see something that only one word can describe. When he looks in my eyes I see that in love admiration that I've seen in so many couples. The difference between everyone else and us is that this is real.

We walk around the park a few times. After a few failed attempts at starting a conversation we finally get back to just talking about normal friends. It's the same touchy, flirty stuff and I'm glad that nothings changed. We don't even try to talk about what this means. We just keep talking like it didn't happen. I'm scared that he doesn't like me as much I as I like him. I mean he was making heart eyes at me. I'm insecure and I need him to tell me straight up or I'm never going to believe it.

Tyler must see that I'm tensed up because when we finally get back to the car he pulls me into his arms. I wrap my arms his shoulders and the tension melts away. He lifts himself up onto his toes so he can whisper in my ear.

"Nothing has to change if you don't want it to." he rest his head against my chest and I leave a light kiss on his soft lilac locks. He squeezes me tight before he lets go letting his fingers trial over my sides. We get into the car and we don't talk. Tyler looks like he's thinking really hard.

How does he really feel about me? I know he likes me but to what extent? I know how I feel. I know that there is no one in the world that I would rather spend time with. Wait didn't he tell me that I'm the only one he could even consider pursing romantically? Stop doubting yourself Troye. My fingers fiddle with my necklace and a smile creeps onto my face. He's so adorable.

We make it back to his house and we head upstairs together. I really feel like we should talk about this but I'm nervous even though I shouldn't be. I let it drift out of my mind as Tyler and I cuddle on his bed. We'd changed into pajamas even though it's only about five. Tyler's fingers are trailing up and down my arm as we talk about the big production of the year.

"Do you really think the two main characters are gay? I mean he said it was back in the day. Like in a time when that wouldn't be accepted." Tyler says looking up at me. I play with his hair as I answer him.

"Think about it though. The main characters are in love. They can't be together because it's not accepted. Maybe they run away together or something. He said he wanted us as leads so that obviously means it's a gay couple." Tyler considers this before he comes up with a sassy remark.

"You think you're going to be able to pretend like your in love with me?" he asks obviously expecting me to shove him away or slap him or something like that. That's not what I do though. Not even close.

"Who said I have to pretend?" Tyler's hand freezes on my arm and the blood drains from my face when I realize what I had just said out loud. I look up to Tyler and his jaw is slack in shock. I push Tyler away and run out of his room. I can hear him calling my name as I slip my TOMS on. I run out of the front door earning weird glances from Jackie and Sammy.

I start running not having the slightest idea where I'm headed. I'm not thinking about the fact that I have no idea where I am. I'm not thinking about the fact that I'm alone on Christmas day running through the street with no jacket. All I'm thinking about is Tyler. How his face looked. I trip over a root and I stay on the ground letting the snow soak through my clothes. The tears had started a long time ago and now they are just getting worse. I pull my knees to my chest resting my head against them.

I just told my best friend that I don't have to pretend to be in love with him. All he did was look at me shocked. He didn't even say anything. His hand froze on my skin and his jaw dropped. He looked scared. Why did he look like that? He doesn't feel the same way does he?

I tug on my hair letting out a shattered sob. I want to die. I just ruined everything that means anything to me. Why did I say that? Nothing is ever going to be the same. I might have just lost my best friend because I can't control my fucking mouth. I could have just pushed him away and blushed. Nope, I had to tell him that I don't have to act in love with him. I'm already there. I love Tyler Oakley.

My body is shaking from the cold and the sons that refuse to stop. Why did I run away from him without even grabbing a coat? He's made me lose all logic. That's what love does. If I'm going to be stupid I want to be stupid with him.

"Tilly..." his name leaves my lip as I pray that he's looking for me. I don't care what I said I'm cold and want to be in his arms. I just want to be cuddled up to him. I want him to feel the same about me and not be shocked that I'm in love with him.

"Troye! TROYE SIVAN! TROYE! Troye Mellet!" I hear Tyler screaming my name at the top of his lungs. I force myself to stand up even though my joints are almost locked with coldness.

"Tyler?" I call as Tyler rounds the corner and sees me. He pulls one of his jackets off and pulls it over my head. He wraps me in his arms and I follow his example. He's warm and the jacket he put on me smells like him.

"Troye." he pulls back rolling his lip between his teeth. "Troye, I'm sorry I reacted like that. I wasn't prepared. I don't have to pretend either. I'm there. Troye, I love you."

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A/N

Hey guys it's Amanda and I'm sure this chapter is a bit short but I think this is a good place to end it. So how about that Troyler kiss? How about those I love you's? HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS THIS STORY HIT 100K READS REALLY EARLY THIS MORNING. I can not thank you guys enough. This is freaking amazing and I love all of you so so so much. If you liked any part of this chapter please:

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I love you all so so so so so much

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