slow descent

begining of the discent

There has been a debate whether as long as the spouse is saved, you can marry whoever you want to. Others say God has one person in mind for a young person. 
When i was younger i was not sure. I was a pastor's kid. My dad pastored a strict independent fundamental baptist church. I have stressed the importance of marrying a Christian.i was also stressed the importance of marrying someone who was serious about there relationship with the lord. Dad stressed that if i felt called to ministry, i need to marry someone who agreed with that call. 
I dated a girl at Bible college. I asked her dads blessing to propose and he gave it. She said yes. We planed for the wedding.  As we planned for the wedding, she felt like she was not ready to be married. She wanted to see the world. She decided to break off the engagement. 
I had been working towards ordination and was being mentored by my dad. I was devastated. I focused on my ordination. I was ordained. I was an assistant pastor at my dad's church.
A nearby church was in chaos. the pastor resigned in disgrace. Half the church left. The church was at risk of folding. I did some pulpit supply there. They liked my preaching. They asked me to be an interim pastor. I tried to rebuild the church.
I never intended on staying. I had started a youth group. I had some Bible studies. The pulpit committee asked me to consider candidating to be the permanent pastor. I was reluctant at first. I prayed about it. My dad, my grandfathers and other men i trusted were supportive of my becoming the pastor. So after much reflection, i decided to agree.
I was a young single pastor.  The church was doing well. New people were coming. Souls were saved and discipled.  
One of the new attendees was  Tia. She was tall  She was six foot. She had a tattoo on her shoulder and her ankle.  She was a college student at the nearby community college.
She saw an ad for the church at the community bulletin board. She had never really thought about religion. She was not against it. She figured that there was a God.
She attended for a while. I had talked to her and answered her questions. So did other ladies and couples in the church. she made a profession of faith shortly after first attending. 
I disabled her along with a deacon and his wife. She was baptized. She grew in her faith.
I did not remember seeing her coming into the church that first night. I saw her on her way out. I thought she was really tall. I was five-six. There was something liked about her.at first, she was unsaved.  She was out of bounds. I kept her at arm's length.  I felt i had to. The Bible says to hard your heart because out of it are the issues of life. I tried to do that.
She told me later that she could tell i was holding back. She did not understand why. When i explained it to her, she understood.
After she got saved, i lowered my defenses but bot totally. Not all professions are guanine. I felt i had to hold off a bit. Let her grow in her faith. I kept in mind the parable of the soils. You can't tell the difference between the soil until the end.
She did grow. Very early on she started making small changes.  Her language was different. She talked differently. She used to be a bit crass not vulgar but crass. That changed. Her outfits changed.  She later told me most of her changes we're not intentional. She did not notice all of them.
She threw herself into the church. She was there almost every time the lights were on. She was involved. She used her talents. She loved to draw and decorate. She was involved in decorations in the church. She loved to sing. She sang in church solo and duets or groups. 
I waited for a while. I noticed another young man in the church liked her. I as worked that one of them would scoop her up. I believed of it was Gods will, he would make her available to me. I prayed about it and decided to ask her out.
I decided to start off small. I asked her out for coffee after an evening service. She Agreed. We were having a great time. "So, is this a date?" She asked.  I smiled. "Do you want it to be a date?" I asked. "What reason did you ask me out tonight?" She asked. "I am interested in a relationship that could lead to marriage," I said.
"Well i thought you liked me but i was not sure. I like you, pastor. I need to tell you that before i was saved i did whatever i wanted to do. I was a hedonist.  I am usually vague when i give my testimony. I don't want to sugar coat my sin with you. I don't want to get specific but i think you can get what i am saying. " she said..she said this with tears in her eyes.
"I had a feeling you were different before you were saved. I can forgive you. We can work through this. I know your not that person. " i told her.
"If you can forgive me and not hold it against me, then yes i am interested in a relationship that could lead to marriage," she said.
We dated for a while. We got one of those engagement workbooks and worked through it. We tried to ask the deep questioned. We did not call it courtship and did not do all of the courtship rituals. we did try to not date what like the world dates. Marriage was always the end goal unless we felt that the lord did not give his blessing.
After a time of dating or courtship, i talked to my dad, deacons and other i trusted. After prayer and reflection, i decided to go ahead and propose. We went out to dinner. I proposed on our way home. She said yes.
We were married at the church. My dad officiated. It was a great service. It was perfect. She was a beautiful bride. After the service, we went to a cabin i owned a couple of hours away. We spent most of the time in the cabin but did some day trips.
She is a great pastors wife. She had an incredible official and unofficial ladies ministry. She is an encourager and a listener. She was an asset to my ministry.
After a time, she became pregnant with our first child. It was a baby boy we named Joseph Steven.  When joey termed two, she became pregnant again, this time with twin girls. We named them Zoey and chole.
She is very athletic. She loves volleyball. She played volleyball in college. She set up a smaller net for our son..he loves it too. She loved to dance..i was not so keen on dancing. I was ok with it in the privacy of our own home.
She was a bubbly outgoing person. She was always fun.we had disagreement but nothing too serious.
Then it all changed. She stopped laughing. She stopped smiling. She stopped dancing. That pep, that spring in her steps went away. It was subtle at first. Then it was unavoidable. She was just sad.
One moment she was fine, the next she was a different person.   It was a Sunday. A retired pastor and his wife came to our church to speak. The family was well known in the independent fundamental baptist world. The church was super excited. many knew him and heard him speak. Some had gone to a church he had pastored before. It was kinda like an old home day.
They did not mean as much to her. She was not as excited. The church had talked them up. She was willing to give them a chance. 
It was summer. She wore a short-sleeve shirt. Both her tattoos were visible.  She did not try to hide her tattoos. Everyone knew she had it. She had talked to her friends in the church. They did not have a problem with it since she got them before she was saved.
She was talking to her best friends Cindy, marry and Cassie when Mrs. Wendell came over. "Hello, Cassie," she said. Case hugged the older lady. Cindy and March greeted her. She leered at tia.
"Mrs. Wendel, this is tia Burk, the pastor's wife," Cindy said. "You have tattoos?" She said. "I got them before j was saved. I don't support the practice now," she said. "What will you tell your children?" Mrs. Wendell asked. "I will tell them that i did not live for the lord. When i became a Christian my view on life changed. It is not something i would do now. " tia said.
"You dont look like a pastor's wife. I thought the pastor had better taste," she said.
"Yia has certently added a lot to your church. She has a servant's heart. She has been a great addition to the church" Cindy said. "Don't you feat giving the wrong impression or young people or those that might come to hear off the streets? Some might interpret it as an endorsement." She said. "I do not endorse it. I would try to clear that up. " tia said.
Throughout the day Mrs. Wendel ignored her. She leered at her. At the dinner after the service tia and I sat at the same table as the Wendel. She barely acknowledged that tia existed. She tried to grin and bear it. We entertained the Wendell after the banquet. It was a bit awkward.
After the service, we went home. She fed the girls then put the kids down. She came into the living room. She looked emotionally and physically
Exhausted. 
Sometimes she liked to dance after the kids went to bed. That was not the case that night. She just sat next to me. I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder.  We did not say much. I just held her. 
Next up
Tia seems back to herself. She starts to get content reminders of her past.