Ghost

0903

I almost thought I hadn't heard him correctly.

"What?"

His smile faltered a moment, and his expression seemed unnerved at having to repeat it. He shrugged. "I'm gay."

It seemed so weird hearing such a deep voice say those words without any falter. When I didn't say anything for a moment, too busy feeling my insides dry up into withering weeds, he urged on. "Ya know, I'm into guys?"

"I know what it means," I remarked, a little more bitterly than I'd intended. He recoiled, defensive. I guess I was still in shock. I had been so sure, so hopeful that a guy like him could fall for a girl like me, the thought of him not being into my type altogether was nonexistent.

I had been so hopeful that there was someone out there waiting for me, and now there I was, feeling stupid.

"Oh." After a couple of minutes passed of me just standing there, trying to come to terms with the situation, he looked towards the floor, a look if pure hurt crossing his face. "Well, this is awkward."

"Huh, why?"

"I just--I thought you were different," he repeated. "I thought you were the kind who didn't care about that kind of stuff." He started to get up. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Wait! No, oh god." I sighed, wanting to smack myself. "I didn't mean it like that it's just..." I paused and he looked back at me. I realized I couldn't just tell him. "I mean, it's cool," I said, forcing a smile through my disappointment. "I was just shocked for a second, is all."

"Really?"

"Yeah." The life came back into his face and relief went through mine.

"You don't think I'm weird or gross, or whatever?"

The desire to smack myself grew. "Of course not."

"Promise?" He urged, but without the seriousness. 

"Promise," I said.

And just like that, I had made my first human friend.