will i get arrested for writing this? obama x putin

i was dead serious

AN: If you comment 'same' ever on this fic I will literally block you. You all think it's cute to comment 'same' on this author's note. Guess what? It's not.

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once upon a time there was this prezident name oback barama n he was a really good president. but maybe that's just compared to george bush bc george bush fucked up

anyway everyone thought oback was sexy, especially r-money . but tbh r-money was mormon??? and he knew he couldn't forreal be with oback bc he might go to hell. or like, mormon hell. because they don't have normal hell; they have 4 things???? there's heaven, almost heaven, mostly hell, and ultra-hell. he'd prob just go to mostly hell but who even knows

okay so then the main homedog of russia was a homophobe but he was also a flaming homo-inator 3000; he was in denial about his sexuality ya feel????? but see putin went to the international rap battle because come on, his country is the fucking shit and he was gonna throw down. he knew oback would be there n he was kinda excited, but he wasn't really sure why. prob bc obama can throw down. n it would get intense with like the 2 main countries gettin it on.

so obama decided he had to get with it if he wanted to be taken seriously at the rap battle. that's why he grabbed some fake ray-bans, huge-ass diamond piercings in his ears, n a backwards hat in case he needed to kiss anyone n you can't wear your hat forwards if you kiss someone. like, come on

putin wasn't really hip, he thought punk was still the thing. so he got some combat boots, black skinny jeans, and hella chains with his cutoff ramones t-shirt. tbh oback kinda had a thing for punk guys???? so you can imagine that he was like 'damn' when he saw putin. tbh putin kinda liked how obak lokoed also.

so the first 2 countries up on the rap battle were czechoslovakia and somalia. jk czechoslovakia was split up into the czech republic and slovakia so it was actually ireland and myanmar. both were hella basic and the judges agreed that they were disqualified.

it went on with a bunch of shitty raps (bc the world leaders have more important things to do than learn how to rap well tbh. unless you're oback bc he takes that shit seriously)

finally, it came down to oback and putin.

dude when obarama saw puatin he got a boner and it was kinda awk ???? but he thought putin wa s sexy in his punk gear. n he decidede to rap about it. so he laid down a sick freestyle abt putin's sick as hell boots. putin was kinda impressed and flustered like the protagonist in a lighthearted anime. but then he got serious and got down.

putin laid dow n a verse about oback's obnoxious piercings. but oback was like 'damn???? he's good' and the judges decided it was a tie bc damn

and then afterwards obamacak went up to putin. n he said: 'i want to obamacare for you. with all my heart.'

r-money heard and he was like OH MOSTLY HELL NO. but then his wfie was like 'come on r-money we gotta go to church and exploit the poor'

and r-money likes nothing better than church and exploiting the poor, so he just let it go

put in was a little bit weirded out bc oback like, wants to obamacare ofr hiM????????? he's a homophobe n that's gay. but tbh putin was like , 'that was kinda cute and smooth' and he ACCIDENTALY SAID IT OUT LOUD AND OBACK WAS LIKE HELL YEAH AND HE SAID LET'S GET MARRIED PUTIN AND PUTIN WAS LIKE OH SHIT I'M IN TOO DEEP NOW AND HE COULDN'T SAY NO BC IF YOU SAW OBACK'S EYES YOU WOULDn"T SAY NO EITHER>

so oback and putin got married

the end