The Womenfolk
Women are deceived into allowing FGM and FGC. If they show any resistance to the practice the are forced to comply. Asabe, a university graduate and local government health worker in Kaduna said her in-laws insisted on tribal marks and uvulectomy for her first two sons. And it became a battle between her and the sister-in-laws concerning doing the same for her next two sons. She had to report the case to the patriarch of the family and he told his sisters to back off. He said Asabe should have told him earlier she did not want the marks for her other sons. He wouldn't have allowed it.
But when she gave birth to her first girl, again some women on her husband's side insisted that the girl get marks and the cuttings done. They claimed that the marks are of family origins and she had to bear them. Asabe stood her ground about the tribal marks but unfortunately she gave in to the ectomy. Her sisters convinced her to let them do it so she does not come off as stubborn and argumentative. Asabe said she cried along with her baby girl as she was handed back to her. She continuously rocked her daughter as the three-day-old baby coughed up blood and cried in pain. She shook her head and sucked her teeth as she narrated the ordeal.
Aisha, in her thirties, married into a family in the inner city of Kano. Living within her in-laws and traditionalists, she refused to be bullied into performing any type of ectomy on her children. She said after her third born, her in-laws stopped sending the family wanzami to her. Instead they insist that she gives him money for coming. Aisha told me she did not let anyone shave off her babies' hair, so touching their body was not an option, and she did not care what they thought of her. She told me there were a lot of strange ideas she refused to follow. For instance, after its removal, the piece of bloody uvula is pasted on the baby's forehead. ( #cultish much? ). When I asked one of the wanzamai about the forehead stunt, he shrugged and said, "al'ada", meaning tradition.
Maryam, an educationist who got married in the early nineties, insisted no one touch her daughter's private part. Even at that time, it did not seem right to her. To ensure she remained untouched, Maryam put a diaper on her and stared through the window, keeping an eye to make sure it was not removed while her uvula was taken out. With pity and disgust she demonstrated the position in which the baby girls were locked in for the procedure. The wanzami stretches out his legs, presses on the newborn's arms with his feet, then tucks the baby's feet under his thighs to expose the vagina.
Sadiya, a middle-aged woman, said the main purpose is to reduce a woman's arousal. "They do not want to say, but they believe it prevents women from being promiscuous," she said, "Women our age group have all been excised, but I did not do it to my daughters." Which brings me to my next target group after the barbers, the parents. Mothers and fathers should be properly informed about FGM/C. When another cousin recently gave birth, I went to the hospital immediately and warned her about blindly handing over her daughter to a wanzami. On the seventh day, the morning of the naming ceremony, her father-in-law came with a barber and asked to see the baby. Our aunt told them that our family do not follow such tradition and the father-in-law agreed to leave the babe be. But my cousin still had to pay the barber for coming.
Kande said, "We just do what our elders tell us to do." An elderly unlettered lady, she said when they were younger they had no say in making decisions for their babies. All they did was hand them over to family members and did as they were told. I asked how come she was never curious about what was going on down there? She laughed then shook her head, "We just do what we are expected to do." She told me that recently a married woman in their neighborhood had to get her angurya removed. She said sometimes even when cut as a baby, the angurya may regrow. This is when they say, "ya zo da gaddama," which means a "stubborn" angurya. Then she added, "I heard some wanzamai use their "patients" to make sure the obstruction is cleared." When I asked other women if they heard about such allegations, they said yes they heard of many cases. That the molestation issues are usually whispered around when it happens.
Two years ago, eighteen-year-old Hannatu, was forced into marriage with a young man in their small town. When she refused to consummate the marriage, the husband told her family. Her father took her to a gidan gargajiya (traditional house) where men held her down against her will, spread her legs apart, and tampered with her privy. Although as a baby, she was cut, they diagnosed her with the same angurya ailment. She bled for days in pain. Weeks later, she still refused to consummate the marriage and sought refuge at the village emir's palace. The marriage was dissolved and she eventually went back home. No one was punished for what Hannatu went through and sadly there will be more girls who will suffer the same fate.
It is depressing that this very moment several more babies are cut and there are women held down in excruciating pain. Did I feel any shame "ladysplaining" the female anatomy to the barbers? No. As long as a grown man, medically unqualified and ignorant about anatomy, feels no shame in opening apart a baby's thighs with stubby fingers and a sharp blade, then I also feel no shame talking about it. No one should remain silent about this issue.
