To Find Oneself Fanfic One Shot Contest Entry (Rebekahleemusic7)

This fanfic oneshot was produced with the permission of the original work's author. No copyright infringement intended, used as a contest entry in a contest by the copyright owner.

To Find Oneself (originally written by Rebekahleemusic7) One-Shot Contest Entry:

Alexia’s POV:

     Derek’s been avoiding me and burying himself in work. I’m worried about him and even Lucas thinks it’s strange he hasn’t been checking on me as often as he used too, especially with me pregnant. Wonder if losing his brother affects him more than he’d like to admit. Maybe he blames me for his death and losing the one chance to make him come over to the good side. I would like to think Derek would tell me if that was the case. It’s either that or he’s hiding something he doesn’t want me apart of.

“Babe you’re doing it again.” Lucas says to me through our mind link.

“What?” I ask him.

“Thinking too loud, if you’re that bothered then you should call Derek.”

“Ok, I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Love you and stop stressing it’s not good for you or the baby.”

“Love you too Lucas.”

Bring -Bring - Bring

“Hello my little blood wolf, how are you and little Pristine doing?”

“Uh hey Derek I was wondering if you could come see me today?”

“Sure is there anything wrong?”

“Uhm not really…”

“Ok how about I bring you some lunch and we can talk then.”

“Sounds good, Derek.”

    I hang up the phone and go about the rest of my day, which now a days with Pristine almost here consist of several bathroom trips, staying in bed and making sure her nursery is set up. I decide to start putting away Pristine’s clothes and diapers into the room to make sure it’s all ready for her. I dropped a package of wipes and as I bend over to get it I sense Derek.

 “Alexia, are you even supposed to be moving around with your due date so close?”

“I’m pregnant not an invalid or cripple, what is with you men thinking that I should stay in bed.”

“Sorry little blood wolf I only asked out of concern.”

“I know Derek; it’s these baby hormones making me crazy.” I say while laughing. He smiles and the corners of his eyes crinkle. He looks so tired despite the smile on his face.

“Derek would you mind helping me up please?”

“Sure sounds good.” He grabs my hands and slowly pulls me up and with an arm around my waist we walk downstairs to the dining room where I see takeout bags with a box of donuts.

“I see you brought my fave, you must have talked to Lucas lately.”

“Yeah he told me about your craving so I figure that I would treat you.”

“That’s sweet.”

“So what did you want to talk about Alexia?”

“Uhm, can we eat first and then talk?”

“Okay.”

     After we finished lunch we go sit out in the garden. I take a deep breath and face Derek.

“Derek is there a reason you haven’t been visiting me?”

“What are you talking about I visit.”

“Derek I can count to the times you’ve seen me on one hand and even then it was because of Elder work that involved your academy.”

“Alexia I don’t know what you’re trying to say, did I do something to you?”

“Derek, do you resent me now?” I say in a whisper scared to hear his reply.

“Alexia what would make you thinks that. I’ve just been really busy with the academy; you know how much this means to me.”

“Stop, Just stop lying to me! You make time to see Amos and Gracie. What about me Derek? Is it because I sent Azazel back before you could save him? Do you wish I didn’t try to save you and let you die? What is it?” I stand and my voice rising with each new question; questions that have been on my mind for months. Suddenly I feel Lucas prodding into my mind telling me to relax.

“Alexia how could you even think that, we both know Azazel had to be dealt with I accepted his fate the minute I decided we had to go to war with him. I knew someone wouldn’t make it and I’m glad it’s him not you or anyone else I care about. I think you should sit down.”

“I don’t want to sit down dammit. I want you to admit it, you feel bad. You look like crap and you haven’t been to see me. You’ve seen everyone else that was involved ten times more than me. Maybe I was spoiled by you but I got used to you being there for me and now you’re not.”

“Alexia I’m sorry I had no idea I was making you feel that way. Maybe I have been distancing myself, but I can assure you it’s nothing to do with you. It’s because it’s my entire fault, I should have dealt with Azazel before but I didn’t and he got to you, both your brothers, your mate. He almost destroyed your life. I can’t be responsible for anything else happening to you.”

“Derek you have to know that if it’s not my fault then it can’t be yours either. Its Azazel’s fault for being too power hungry and embracing his darkness and not seeing the good in the world. If you don’t place blame on me then don’t do it to yourself. You also have to promise me to take care of yourself and visit. I want Pristine to know her godfather Derek.”

“You’re right Alexia…..”

“Aauugh….” I suddenly cry out while hunched over cradling my belly.

“Alexia, are you okay?” Derek asks.

“Yeah Derek it’s just false labor pains I’ve had them for a while now, this one was a bit strong though, must be the donuts and Chinese food.”  I say while trying to laugh off the pain.

“I’m gonna call Lucas, that doesn’t seem like false labor to me little blood wolf.”

“Derek please I’m fine….Aauugh….okay you can call him.”

     Derek calls Lucas and he’s here faster than I can say little blood wolf. We get to the hospital in record time. Before I know it I’m surrounded by the people I love; Lucas, Zane and Reagan, Gracie and Brandon, Jesse and Travis, Derek even Amos. The minute that more contractions start coming faster I send all the guys out and Gracie and Lucas are with me; Gracie because she’s done this before and it’s obvious I can’t do this without Lucas. I wouldn’t want to anyway.  After hours of pain and pushing, with a low cry Pristine Marie Slade is born. My little girl is beautiful and I can be happy knowing that she’ll be in a better world than what I grew up with but she’ll always be surrounded by people she loves and who love her.