Sea Salt (2Doc)

CHAPTER 10: Soulmates

There was a thickness which hung in the air after those words were uttered.
Dread gripped at Murdoc's throat as he waited for the siren's response. This was his first time confessing to someone, after all. He knew that there was a fifty-fifty chance of Stuart either being completely disgusted or actually harbouring some semblance of romantic attraction towards him. Maybe it's more of a seventy-thirty chance? Ninty-ten? Ah, fuck! There's no way the siren sees him more than a friend, damnit! What was he thinking?!

"J-just forget everything I said-"

"Murdoc, is that true?" the siren asked.

"Yes! No! Maybe! I don't know!" His mind was all over the place. Panic began to creep in.

"Is it my fault...?" Stuart asked.

"What?"

"All this time, I wanted to be your shoulder to lean on. You looked... troubled by something, and I wanted to know what it was, so I could help you," Stuart began, looking at their feet, "And I've been really patient because I saw how upset you got when I asked you about certain things,"

Then, Stuart's brow creased. There were clear signs of guilt and frustration in their tone.

"But, when you kept pushing me away and decided to keep all your worries to yourself, I didn't know how long I was willing to wait for you to tell me things on your own terms. And now you're telling me you have feelings for me? And that it scares you?"

Murdoc could hear the strain in their voice and his heart dropped. He knew that he had a bad habit of crumbling in on himself when someone, no matter how kind their intentions, stuck their nose into his personal life. He would either lash out or avoid the subject altogether. Other 'normal people', he was sure, would just make the conscious decision to express their feelings and their worries to those around them. But, him? That was a near impossible task for someone like him.

However, through some divine intervention, he met Stuart. They had some magic quality about them that made it just a little bit easier to be himself around them. Just that bit easier to share a bit more about himself than with other people. They were compassionate and a good listener. And that smile that he had not seen till today. That smile was the cherry on top of his ice cream sundae.

And he had taken all of it for granted.

"I shouldn't have said anything," he muttered, "It's not your fault... " Murdoc lamented.

There was an uncomfortable pause in the room and it got just a bit harder to breathe.

"It's no one's fault. It is what it is," he added on.

The siren didn't say anything back. Murdoc knew that he couldn't take back his confession. It was long overdue, after all. Telling Stuart his true feelings were only the first step. He now needed to solidify these feelings and make them tangible for the other to see, for his and Stuart's sake.

"Give me your hand," Murdoc said.

"What?"

"Just give me your hand, Stuart,"

Confused, the siren complied, sitting down on the bed. Murdoc took their hand and placed it on the right side of his chest.

"Can you feel it?"

"Your heart?" the siren asked.

"Yes... "

"It's... it's beating really fast," Stuart said, a blush creeping across their face.

Embarrassed, Murdoc pulled the siren's hand away and took another deep breath, containing his growing anxiety.

"I love you," he said.