Memories

You couldn't remember everything; memories formed and blended together and a thick layer of dust laid upon them. You buried them 10ft underground, all alone, in a casket with a single red rose. As you let the dirt layer it, cover it, hide it, you slowly let them fade to the back of your mind, out of thought, but deep down you couldn't forget. You knew you will never forget. On your way home, shovel in hand you seen a single red rose, covered in dirt, petals falling slowly on your doorstep.

You locked them in a stainless steel box, behind lock and key. You hid them in the old spider web infested attic, right in the back, you know the place, behind the old Frosty with the missing nose. You never go up there but just like the spiders, you knew they're there but you pretended you didn't because you knew you were terrified of them, deep down. You wouldn't admit it, you would of much rather been in denial than face the facts, the memories. Once you locked the attic hatch, and after you hid the key, you decided to make yourself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, you needed it. The coffee maker must have been jammed it made that spluttery noise again. Once you looked inside, you found the key.

You wrote them on little scraps of paper and you put them in inflated, helium filled balloons. You let them go into the open air, you let the wind take them away. Let the universe take care of them so you wouldn't have to anymore. You believed it for awhile, believed that they've gone, until you seen the remains of balloons caught in a nearby tree. They always came back.

You wrote them on a long piece of paper and rolled it up into a small, tight scroll to fit into the neck of a beer bottle. You jammed in a cork there in its neck so it couldn't escape. You let it go down the river and you watched. You watched it ride the waves then crash against the rocks and disappear. You really believed they've gone, you've became desperate, you just wanted them gone. But on your walk home in the cold october air you neared a creek. And wedged between two rocks and half covered in leaves was a corked beer bottle.

You didn't know how this happened but you couldn't escape. You were desperate beyond words at this point, you thought the unthinkable. You just wanted the hurt to stop, the aching to end and the thoughts to be put to rest. But no matter how many times you wrote it or let it go they didn't go away. Memories were not only stored in your mind but are etched into your heart. And your heart wasn't as forgiving of its scars.

You fell to your knees and cried. There was nothing left to do. You surrendered. Its was years and you were tired of hurting, you were tired of the endless wars with yourself. You didnt deserve this, you don't. But there it was. No more burying or locking it away. No more letting it go for somebody else to handle.

You reached for the bottle and struggled with the wet cork that didn't seem to want to let free. Inside; nothing.