Chapter 1

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Author’s Note: This Halloween short story takes place alongside the events in The Lonely Hearts Club. While this story stands on its own, for those interested, Halloween would fall before Chapter 27. The only reminder needed is that at this point, members of The Lonely Hearts Club aren’t allowed to date. Because boys are stupid and such.

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I, Penny Lane Bloom, hate Halloween.

Okay, maybe hate is a strong word.

I know most people love Halloween, especially kids. It’s all about dressing

up like an animal, a firefighter, a superhero, or whatever you want. Plus, the candy! All the candy!

But here’s the thing: Halloween isn’t about fun costumes and candy in the Bloom household.

Nope.

I’ve never been allowed to dress up in whatever costume I wanted. No way. I have to wear what fits my parents’ theme. That theme, without fail, is always the Beatles. Granted, they mix things up, and one year we’ll be Early Beatles and the next

Psychedelic Beatles. Everybody in our neighborhood loves it. The four of us open up the door and greet everybody with “Goo goo g’joob!” We’re a freak show you can’t look away from. Fitting, given the holiday.

And I can never have all the candy I want, either. When your father’s a dentist, there isn’t a huge amount of sweets allowed in the house. That doesn’t stop us from giving candy away — Dad needs to keep his clientele up — but mixed in with the normal sugary stuff are tiny toothpaste samples, sugar-free lollipops, and little rolls of minty floss. Lame.

Despite my reluctance every year when October 31 comes around, I can’t help but feel excited about this year. This year I have The Lonely Hearts Club. And anything we do as a group is a blast. Maybe they can turn me into a Halloween believer.

Crazier things have happened.

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Ghosts. Witches. Zombies. Mass murderers.

Those creatures were child’s play compared to the monster stewing in the hallway of our house.

“We can’t do this,” Mom protested angrily. “We look ridiculous!”

Mom wasn’t referring to the fact that she, Dad, and I were a rainbow of satin Day-Glo blue, green, and orange military costumes from the cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album. Nope, it was because there were only three of us, not four.

“Rita has some nerve,” Mom (I mean, Sir Paul McCartney) sulked as she adjusted the silver shoulder tassels on her costume. Rita couldn’t make the trip because she had an exam to study for at Northwestern.

How dare she put higher education before the Beatles.

This was the first year there wouldn’t be four of us. Even though we’re a family of five, we were never allowed to open the door as five people. Lucy and Rita used to rotate who got to sit out each year, since I loved it when I was little and always insisted on being George Harrison. Until one year I wanted to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast, which, to put it mildly, did not go over well. (Mom suggested that I dress up as Benedict Arnold instead.)

Dad, who was always the John to her Paul, adjusted his fake mustache. “Now, Becky, remember when the Beatles rehearsed for their first Ed Sullivan Show appearance? George had the flu. They had to go on without him.”

“This isn’t a rehearsal. Plus” — Mom pointed at me in my orange costume — “we’ve got our George.”

“That isn’t the point.” He nudged her playfully. “It will still be great. In a couple of years, Penny won’t be here and we’ll have to do with just the two of us.” He twirled her around while serenading her to “Two of Us.”

I quickly snuck a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup into my mouth while they were distracted.

The doorbell rang to the familiar tune of “Love Me Do” as Mom ordered us to get to our places. I adjusted my orange hat with a green feather on top of my head and glanced longingly at the clock. I only had to serve time for two hours, and then I’d be free to hang out with my friends.

“Showtime!” Mom said as she opened up the door to a chorus of “Trick or treat!”

“Goo goo g’ joob!”

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