Chapter 9

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The weather was nice and I knew it was. I had checked it on my phone obsessively as I sat on the floor, my head resting against the edge of my bed. It was sunny and apparently 70 degrees. That probably felt nice. But I couldn't find the strength to get up.

Until there was a soft knock on my door.

"Is everything okay? You ready to go?"

Alex's voice was muffled, and I could tell he sounded worried.

"You can come in." I said, shocked by how weak my voice sounded.

The door pushed open, and there stood Alex in his work uniform glory. I didn't want to think about the way his chest flexed against the fabric of his black shirt, or how his blonde hair stuck out in a few places and was shiny against the dark colors. But I couldn't help it.

His face was scrunched and she could tell he was worried, "hey why are you sitting there?"

He sat on the edge of the bed, his thigh close to my head as I shrugged.

"I haven't left." I whispered.

"What do you mean?" His voice was etched with concern.

"Since I've been here, I've been able to make myself okay. Not great, but I'm able to function now. It's all been because I haven't been outside. I haven't had to actually face my issues."

I felt his hand land lightly on my shoulder, and he rubbed his thumb gently against the seam on my shirt and I felt myself involuntarily shiver. I rested my head against his knee.

I couldn't help but think about the intimacy of the way we were sitting. He seemed like he wanted the contact and wanted to be touching me. Just like I wanted to be touching him.

"I promise it'll be okay. I'll be with you the whole time and you're not doing anything alone." His voice was calm. His presence was calm. He made me calm.

I nodded, "okay."

He stood up and held out his hand and I took it graciously. However, I wasn't prepared when he pulled me up and straight into his chest. His arms wrapped around me in a bear hug. His cologne smelled like spearmint and summer time. I ducked my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him as close as possible. I let out a sigh, and he rested his head against the top of mine.

"If it helps, I don't really want to go either." His voice was playful and I let out a small giggle. He moved his head so that his mouth was on my hair and I tried not to hyperventilate.

He pulled away all too soon, leaving me with just the remnants of his touch and a hint of his cologne. Not soon after, we were sitting in his all-black police Ford Explorer, with me in the passenger seat.

"I don't give a shit what any rule is, you're not sitting in the back seat. You're not a prisoner."

I gave him a small smile, but overall disagreed.

We got to the station way too fast. In nearly five minutes, they were sitting in the parking lot behind the building, and I was gripping my seat belt with both hands as if I could keep it on.

"Alright, time to go." He huffed, placing his hand on top of mine for a second of reassurance before climbing out of the car. He stood in the doorway waiting for me.

"Do you have to cuff me or something?" I asked, my voice cracked at the end. Tears pricked at my eyelids.

I wasn't expecting his cheeky grin, "I mean, if you want me to."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"There's that pretty smile." He shut the door gently and motioned me to get out.

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