Let My Daughter Go: An Exodus Story

CHAPTER ONE

"Why must you open the floodgates of love before you are ready?" ~~Song of Solomon

Chapter 1

It envelops me, I am submerged as if in deep water or as if warm blanket is safely wrapped around me. It is protective, vivid yet surreal, yet somehow so much more real than life itself. It comforts me when all comfort has perished, it gives birth to hope when no hope should be left. Somehow it loves, when my mind says love is dead... when my mind insists love is nothing more then a fantasy. But then it's snatched away, it's gone, and once again I plummet.

Such extreme passion burns within me, so fierce and persistent, ever present, even though the whispers says it is gone. Adrenaline rushes through my veins awakening my entire being. A life giving breath fills me, it's His breath, I know. Somehow these bones of mine begin to move, and flesh comes back upon them, soon I feel my heart begin to beet once more like it did before, and I know I want to dance. This joy that fills me makes me want to sing, and dance and sing and never ever stop, after all how could a dead person given life anew ever stop dancing?

I twirl about like a little child and suddenly I stop, His eyes are upon me, He is admiring me, oh my Creator is admiring me, He enjoys this I know, seeing this dead creature be born once more, feeling joy once more... breathing once more. His heart seems to beat within me, and maybe, I think just maybe that is why I am alive now, because He has given me His heart. Could such a thing be? Who would give His own heart to make me live?

"Are you ready, my Beloved?" He asks, His voice resonating in every corner of my soul and the farthest parts of the universe.

"Yes, here I am, I am ready."

And so I sprint towards Him, light as a doe, towards the prize which I know nothing can destroy or ever snatch away... this amazing, indescribable race, an amazing race that drives me to the very limit to serve Him, the One, the only Lover of both my heart and soul. He is the One, I recognize Him, for it is He that saved me from chaos, from utter darkness and despair.

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The summer breeze tenderly kissed my face as I looked at the crowd gathered around my aunt Miriam Madar's courtyard and all around the L shaped old wooden porch that overlooked the courtyard, even down to the iron gates. Some of them even had to squeeze into the rooms to make room for the others. A multitude of downcast faces were gathered here from all around the small city in honor and remembrance of my great-grandmother. It would have been such a privilege to have known her better, but my home country had not been my home for almost two decades and the ocean between us was indeed a great divide. Still this great multitude of people spoke to me of who she was, I see her life's story in every face for each face shows she was indeed one of this city's beloved and respected women.

Integrity was a word that often was repeated and whispered among this faithful crowd in attendance this day. Great-grandmother Lidia had learned to be strong even when she was weak, and she had lived long and loved hard. Her aging eyes had seen so much, even so many of her most beloved going before her, leaving a hole in her heart, this hole of separation. The greatest thorn in her heart, no doubt was the passing of her daughter Margareta at the still young age of forty six, my father's beloved mother. Before that she had seen her son-in-law Emanuel pass at the exact same age, both Emanuel and Margareta had died of the same disease that ate away at both of them for which there was no cure, it was cancer and this cancer broke more then just one heart. My father who's name was also Emanuel just like his father's, was only sixteen when his father died, and after he had married my mom Margareta, all too soon his mother also died... just a little after I was born. Yet still they all pressed on, my great-grandmother Lidia somehow held on to faith in the midst of the worst heart break, knowing she must hold fast in her faith in the One who could and would one day re-unite her with the ones she loved. Aunt Miriam was her youngest daughter, the one who had survived who had diligently cared for Lidia until the very last moment.