Dramione: stop calling me Malfoy

15. Its not your fault hermione

When we pulled into the driveway I could tell something was wrong. All of the lights were on, even in my parent's bedroom, which was odd since they were as always going to the gym the next morning and normally would have been asleep. Draco didn't notice anything strange about that, but it worried me all the same. Walking into the kitchen I saw that there was a roaring fire in the grate and my parents were talking rapidly to... Remus Lupin? He and my parents looked up when we walked in holding hands. Remus looked surprised, but didn't say anything, and stood up. He looked really upset and tired, as usual.

"Thank goodness you're home, Hermione, come and sit down." He waved me over to the kitchen table. I hesitantly sat down on a wooden chair and Draco stood behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders reassuringly. "Look, Hermione, I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to say it. Ron attempted suicide." I gasped. Draco's grip on my shoulders tightened. My mother tutted from the corner as my father edged out of the room. Ron? Suicidal? This had to be a joke! Remus continued, "He's at St. Mungo's resting." Oh, thank god he was all right.

"So he's okay?" I asked nervously. How could Ron think there was no way out? Remus shrugged.

"He's no longer hurt physically, but emotionally... he's messed up." I stood up, almost knocking over Draco.

"I should go see him!" He shook his head.

"I wouldn't recommend it. He says he doesn't want to see you. Harry, Fred and George are with him now and Ginny is with her parents. Perhaps you should wait to see him until things die down." I rolled my ring around so the stone didn't face outward, doing my best to swallow my guilt. Of course he didn't want to see me, this was my fault. And when he found out about my engagement he might try to fix what he had started. No, Remus was right, it was best if I waited. "I should go, I have a meeting with the minister soon." He walked over to the fireplace and threw some powder from his pocket into the grate, but before he walked into it he turned and said, "Don't be too harsh on yourselves, he'll be fine in no time." With that he yelled, "The British Ministry of Magic!" and disappeared in a cloud of soot. Looking around, bewildered, I saw that my mum had fled the room also. I tilted my head back in disbelief to see my fiancé. He looked exactly like how I felt.

"So I'm guessing we should hold off on telling everyone our big news," he said sarcastically, but his heart wasn't in it. I sighed and felt a tear slide down my cheek. This was my fault, our fault, and there was no way to fix what had broken. I felt lost, scared, and unsure. "What do we do now?" he asked.

"We go freeze our butts off in the pond."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Draco and I splashed around like loons in the crisp cold water. Although it in no way made me forget about Ron, it distracted me. My fiancé was considerate and didn't bring up the sensitive subject as I did back flips under the water. We indeed did freeze our butts off in the winter water, but it didn't bother me, and if it bothered him, I couldn't tell. But eventually, I feared frostbite, and got out to sit on the dock. Moments later he joined me, and slid an arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and we watched the snow covered ground shimmer as a small breeze picked up small flakes and twirled them around. Why did Ron have to mess up everything? Her I was with this amazing man, engaged and full of possibilities for the future, and yet all I could do was worry. Worry about Ron's health, worry about the golden trio, worry about if I was doing the right thing. But I was doing the right thing. I was in love and happy, and... why was I worrying?

Of course, Draco read my mind like a book.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Hermione. Don't feel guilty." He kissed the top of my head as I fingered the ring on my finger. He was right.

"I know, but I still feel guilty."

"He's known you for a decade, he could have asked you out a million times. Ron missed his chance, it is in no way your fault." He drew a circle on my back with his thumb and I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his musky scent. "And what was up with his stunt at the burrow? That was a mistake." I grimaced, remembering the revolting feeling of his tongue in my mouth. It had taken a lot of mouth wash charms to rid my mouth of the taste of whiskey.

"He was intoxicated, he couldn't control himself." As much as I wanted to blame him, I couldn't. Draco shifted, and I could tell he didn't share my opinion.

"Never mind." I shivered, and he unfurled his arm before standing up. "Let's go home, I don't want you to get sick." He extended a hand and pulled me up. I pulled my robe off the dock and wrapped it around my underwear-clad body as Draco did the same. We began the walk back to the mansion holding hands as per usual when I realized a question.

"Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to keep the name Malfoy?" He looked down and stayed silent for several minutes. While most people would think he was ignoring the question, I knew he was just forming his answer. I loved that about him. He didn't blurt answers, but considered them, unlike Ron and sometimes Harry.

"I'm not sure." He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "One part of me wants to run from what I was, but the other... the other knows I can't." I knew what he meant. "I am a Malfoy. I can't deny it."

"Well, I want to be Mrs. Hermione Malfoy, if you chose to keep it." He nodded gratefully.

"Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy."