Fifi the african sket

I jumped off da buss a stop earlierr to gett to post office cuz my mum sent me to post a letter loool. its lyk im a slave goshh. i juss decided daht after i wuld to walk to school from dere coz it wernt farr from swan court high.

School startss at 8:50 buhtt i wass still at dah post office and it was 8: 57. Da lady was takinn long so i kissed myy teeth loud, den she was lyk, " sorry babe".

I juss did sum fake smile den she stamped it and said fank yooh luv. I walked out and i started treckin to school. I knew i wass gunnah bee latee so i rann baree fastt.

I gott to dahh gatess at 9:20 , and derr was noo hedzz derr.

kmt i wass shakiin soo much coz i knew i was either gonnah get screwed or smiled at when i walk in class and dey realise imm a new gurl.

I went reception den da ladyy showed mee too dahh class! I had sciencee aarghh ded outt!!!

I walkedd in and everyonee was talkiinn denn deyy stoppin wen deyy realiseed i was neww.

I walkedd down da class to dahh back where i was sittin on summ tablee wiv fourr lighttys (deyy weree gyals doe). Deyy was all lookin me upp and dwnn juss studyin me lyk i wass an alien.

Mr brian (da science teacher: Hello Fifi, welcome to swan court.

Me: kayy (likee ah rudee gyall)

Mr brian: You will be sittin on dis tablee in science and he pionted at da gyals, sayin there names- this is: Riyanna, Nicki, KayCee and Amber.

Me: I nodded my head and smiled. (Im good with namess)

Mr Brian: Okie Dokie, Bye for now.

Nicki: Gyal wahhgwarn wit yuh ere? (wit summ yardyy jamaican accent ) screwein

Me: Huh? (i was baffed, i didnt here a word)

Nicki: Me sehh wahgwarn wit your ere?

Riyanna: Looool she means whats wrong with your hair darling?

Me: Oh sorry loool i didnt here you Nicki. I have hadd mahh hair for tymme so its gone bad, so den i juss backcombed it.

Kaycee and Amber: Is that wahh youu call backcombin Seeeeeennn (deyy creased in mah face)

Me: i juss smiled like i wasntt offended :) even doe i wass!!!!

Riyanna: Awww dontt be bitchess man, shes neww. Sorryy Fifi, deyy aree so rudee.

Me: Itss kool

Riyanna: Apologise man!!

Kaycee: Sorry darlin

Amber: Soryy lovee

Nicki: Sorry chick cum ere lemme do yur ere forr you in toilet, cumm babyygyal (in jamaican accent).

Chapter 2

We walkkeed downn da classroom to ask Mr brian forr toilet.

Mr Brian: Young ladies were are you all marching to?
I saw KayCee movve close to Mr Brian and put her hands in Mr brians trousers and Mr Brian moaned silently.
I was shocked!!! but everyone in da class was too busy talkin and i was the only one who saw.
I tried to look normal. But this wass too muchh man. Whyy would she do that? Was it a sort of bribe?
Mr Brian: KayCee youre my number 1 student (smiling)
Then he gave KayCee the hall pass, and slapped her bum. (she smiled.............

We walked out of the classroom.

Me: KayCee ermmm uhh ahh errmm (i couldnt even get da words out!!!)
KayCee: Youu didnt see nutten okayy. den she winked at me.
We walked to da bathroom den Nicki got out herr brushh, makeup, comb, wireless straitner, scizzorss, blonde dye sprayy andd lykk 5 otherr tingss!!! Wooww diss gyall isss amazinnn.
She toled me to sit on dah sinkk andd whilee amberr was doin my makeupp, nicki wass doinn myy hairr and i wass soo scaredd cozz shee was cuttinngg,sprayyingg, straightenin, puttin creamsss, andd i coulddntt even see coz dahh mirror wass behindd me anddd i wass too shyy to ask to see it loool. :/ (imm soo moistt).
Itt took dem lykkk 15 minss and i wass doneee. :)
I turntt aroundd den lookedd at myselff. OMG OMG OMG. MY facee wass amazinggg. i looked like summm sexxxxyyy piiffff tinggg!!!!!!
Me: OMG THANK YOUU SO MUCCHH, ERR..UHH..ERMM (I WASS SPEEECHLESS)
Nicki: Its iytee babbygyal, you lookeedd fuckinn ugly man, i hadd to transformm yoou!! (!!!sheess rudddeeee)
Amberr: Wowww!!!!! Hott gyal mehh see!!! 8) 8)
Riyanna: Youu look beautiful chick.
Theyy hadd mad my side fringe into a full fringe, combed dah back and creamed it till it loookedd new den den madee tight curlss andd sprayeedd sum blonddee highlightt den amberr did my eyelinerr likee sum china doll loooool andd putt fakee eyelashes on meee den added summ foundation to cover upp my spotss, (dahh foundation wasnt even my colourr coz i looked lykk ah lightiee)!!!. den she took her lipglosss andd put it on myy lipssss.