Heyyy first off all ii juss wanna sayy dahtt if youree gonna judgee mee on all da shit ivee dunn den youu should click dat big juiccy "x" button nd cumm off my page noww!! coz i gott mahh own reassons dat if youu readd and followw dah storyy, you will understannd.
Diss aint a storyy off mee so dont hypee. Buhtt itss yourrr opinion if u finkk itss real orr not.
mahh namess Foonkeh andd mahh surnamess summ longg namee datt will takee me 4 hourss to sayyy loool (lowww mee) Butt at school people call me FiFi coz datss better init . Buhh anywayss yuu probablyy guesedd dat i aint jamaicaan likee all dem stories. I am a baitt africann chickk.
Im inn yearr 10- i livveed in enfield buhh i juss moved to totternhamm cuhzz myy mum gott a neww job as ah hairrdresser in ann africaan salonn called " Bola's hairr & beautyy.
Anywayss imm nott daht pretty, i am okayy buht i havv summ fattttt africann battyy andd mahh boobszz are medium sized unfortunately looool. My muum iss ah typical strict africann mama andd i aint guhtt no siblingss. my mummyy threww out mahh stepdad tymm agoo coz he was wun of demm lazyy, greedyy africann men dat juss sit on dahh couch demandinng food andd enjoyin sky sportss likee he payss dah bills KMTTT!! Buhtt yehh myy mummy gott fed upp and threww him outt. I didntt reallyy caree coz he wasntt imporrtantt in myy life :/. Soo i movedd school andd will be startiin at ahh neww school calleddd Swan Court High School. I amm nervouss buhht yooh knoww i juss wantedd ah neww start cozz myy oldd school was Pissinn me off cuhhz it wass dead and strictt!!!!!
Myy mum hass guhht summ baiitt africann accent soo whenn she speakss in dis story, readd it in an african accent. If yooh cant den goo read harry potter loool.(sorry imm baree rudee :))
I wokee upp att 7:45 andd dahh first ting mahh mum sed was:
"Foonkeh!!! I hopee yoou aree goiin to washh dat boddy off yourss ohh!!!"
Yess mummy gosh!!, i said. (jheeze she dont even giv me tym to do mahh bed" kmt
Mummy: Ehhh, so yooh tink dat noww yooh can talk rude to me,Okayy you will see me todayy!
Me: I didntt sayy anything doe
Mummy: I saidd shurrup yourr mout you ijiottt!!!! I alwayss tell yooh to open those good for nuttin earss, And shut dat rubbish, nonsense mouth! ehhh imagine dis girl.
Me: (i looked like i wass listenin coz my mum iss madd, i didnt wanna backtalk and gett a slapp!)
Mummy: Whyy aree yooh standin derr like i amm medusa who has turnt you to stone!! ehh ehh get out of my facee, nonsense "kisses her teeth.
Do yooh see wat i havv to deal witth, my mum pisses me off!!! aarghghh!!!
anywayys I bathedd, woree myy uniforrm buhtt insteadd off my skirtt i wore blackk boyss trousers, den my whitee shirtt, withh da blackk cardigan wivv mahh neww blackk puffer jackett dat i hadd savedd moneyy for weekss and myy blackk plimsolls wivv red lacess and myy hairr had a side fringee wiv curlyy black weavee whichh was i had keptt forrr timee butt i backcomed it andd putt a red headbandd. I wass gunnah putt red laces in mahh hairr but thort nahh cozz my mum wouldd be likee why da heck is shoeelaces in your hair loool.
My mum sedd i should eatt pepe soup beforr i go so i can be awakee in class. Looool
but i juss took redbull and an apple- grabbed mahh just-do-it bagg and ducked out likee i was bienn chased fam, coz i knew daht my mum would check my bag and how i wass dressed. and i will end up lukin lyk sum next retard. :/ :/
I got to da busstopp, jumped on dahh bus, nd didnt go 2 dahh top coz i heardd baree peeple from swan court high school cuhz i saw dere uniformm. I juss stayyed downstairss Like a dick lool.
I jumped off da buss a stop earlierr to gett to post office cuz my mum sent me to post a letter loool. its lyk im a slave goshh. i juss decided daht after i wuld to walk to school from dere coz it wernt farr from swan court high.
School startss at 8:50 buhtt i wass still at dah post office and it was 8: 57. Da lady was takinn long so i kissed myy teeth loud, den she was lyk, " sorry babe".
I juss did sum fake smile den she stamped it and said fank yooh luv. I walked out and i started treckin to school. I knew i wass gunnah bee latee so i rann baree fastt.
I gott to dahh gatess at 9:20 , and derr was noo hedzz derr.
kmt i wass shakiin soo much coz i knew i was either gonnah get screwed or smiled at when i walk in class and dey realise imm a new gurl.
I went reception den da ladyy showed mee too dahh class! I had sciencee aarghh ded outt!!!
I walkedd in and everyonee was talkiinn denn deyy