I knew she was dead, just didn't know what that meant. Many people had come, many, fa-mi-ly, many many, dilly and dally. I remember, we (bro and me) came back from school, had a silent lunch and went off to play. That day nobody lured us into napping, neither were any promises imposed on us to be back on time, nah, zilch, nothing. We kids broke a window, but that family too was at my home. Dull, we chose to drag playtime. We came back around nine, to a mute home wet with tears. Why? We were too young and lost in ourselves to understand. The crowd grew lesser and lesser...till it was just you. You, and we knew we had found her again. Where had she gone? What did dead mean? None explained. Our questions got lost with life and we never turned back, we had you. You, all the time. Every birthday, every festival, every tiny or big occasion, or a loss...you were there, supervising and belting orders. Gosh, weren't you strict, yeah.. but, equally loving and oh how much you sang for Krishna, he was your favorite, had to be, you were always so motherly, even to us. Living less than a kilometer away, I always knew a mouthwatering meal would be ready to simmer in your tiny backyard kitchen for me, I knew, maybe that's why I never thought twice before getting down a stop early to save myself from the school's bully. Mum had to give me a beating, I never told you..(not finding me in the school bus kinda gave her a heartattack) and I just kept questioning her- Why would I think twice? I have 2 homes. Equally warm, then why? Ya know, I loooooved every nook of yours. So tidy and clean! Yeah! Crystal clean, your floors, had felt them once, maybe slept and you put me to bed- definitely! I can still feel their cool. No matter how hot the day would be your floors were always cool, you never rolled out your curtains, maybe that was your trick, I simply loved walking barefoot on them and then climbing your couch, how were they so plump? I guess you and I both know the answer... still, it was always like a picnic to spend some time with you in your home. Your room always had a distinct calming aroma and positivity, you were never alone, having such a big picture of your better half, right next to your bed, on top of your temple rack, was that your balm? I can only guess and remember how it felt to be caressed by you... it would always leave a trace of you on me, for long, thanks to the Nivea cream you used. Did you had the company on speed dial or what? It never happened that you ran out on it! How? Nor going to the temple. Head priestess, right..? Such respect and adoration you accumulated, no wonder we always stopped to greet you, you could always lift my spirits like that, always. I dont think any one could be as kind as how you were to us. "Dont lie, you have forgotten me!" You always complained, know what? Nah, we never did, its just priorities changed and trust me, every time I see the landline these days, I always think of you and fight with myself.. why would I always be the first to put down your call? Why? I am sorry.. sorry, sorry, sorry. I will never stop feeling so and recalling how you said hello, "hey-y-y-low..." I dont want to. But, yes, I do want to crochet you a shawl. I'll gift it to a needy, on your name and relive the day we had spent chatting in the winter sun. You always listened to me so carefully... do you know how much loved that made me feel? I dont think you ever scolded me or got upset because of me, but, I remember your occasional duels with Gramps. They always amused us. Thank god, you were a there to handle us when it was his time, we made you our elder after that and we loved having you, every bit. We always wanted you to move in, but, you always laughed off the idea. Society. All life you abided to it, honoured it, enriched it, maybe that's why many assembled to bid you goodbye. I wanted to kiss you, like all times, hold your hand, tell you stuff, make you giggle and then slap me on my cheek, but, they had you rested in a glassed box. I kept wondering all the time if you might hear if I whispered to you, all our times, but then I concentrated on the whirring of its refrigeration. It kinda helped me to not burst into tears. Yea, I didn't cry, a first! Not very happy about it. Though I did caress you through the glass and can bet you smiled. I so can. You so did! I felt your cheeks tighten upwards. It tickled my heart. Made it all worthwhile. Your smile gave me a thought, just in case...and then I started to cry. Ha! Sorry. I dont know what happened, everything suddenly became so very overwhelming. My fingertips did stamp a kiss right above, your forehead and then I walked out, head low. Nobody wanted me to visit you. It was for the elders. But, I knew, if I had not pressed on tagging along, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to have an unrestricted fill of you. It made you happy..right? I wish I could've come an hour back and seen you smiling. I wish, I wish...at night, I cried again. Sorry.
Psst, tell me- did you run to Gramps and him crying or did you run into his arms and then cried? :)
