Toxic Thoughts

Chapter 2

Warning: This chapter contains self-harm and depressing thoughts

"OW," I practically yelled, whining a little at the end. The fuck did he do, add chakra in that slap? "I can't believe you've done this." The man simply shrugged. How dare he.

"You did say pain was the only way to convince you that you aren't dreaming." Ok, yeah, but still. I huffed as I rolled my eyes, lightly prodding at my now red cheek. I think it's red, at least. It stings and it's throbbing so I'm pretty sure that it looks just as bad as it feels.

"Ok, so not a dream. I got that now, thanks." I said grumpily, not at all happy what the stinging means. It means I'm alive and that I'm not seconds away from this all ending.

"Good," He gave me a closed eye smile before continuing. "So, what are you doing so close to Konoha?" I screamed in my head at that question. Fuck. Now I have to actually come up with a plausible excuse as to why I'm here.

"I- uh, didn't know I was so close to any village, really. I'm just trying to find shelter and food since I was kinda...dumped here." I couldn't think of any lie so I just gave him the truth. Man, I'd be bad at interrogations.

"You look pretty harmless....I could take you to the Hokage and have him settle some living arrangements for you?" After agreeing and saying "thanks", we set off to Konoha. He was actually right, it wasn't that far away.

Passing through the gates and heading straight towards the famous building, we ended up at the Hokage's office doors in less than a few minutes. He knocked twice before entering, me following on his tail.

"Hello, Kakashi. Who is this?" The old man, Hiruzen Sarutobi himself, asked, his eyes gazing towards me curiously. Kakashi raised his eyebrow at me. I think he wants me to introduce myself, but I'm not 100% sure. Fuck, what if I accidentally end up being disrespectful and he throws me in jail because I spoke out of turn. I think Kakashi seemed to notice the panic and confusion in my eyes so he sighed.

"Introduce yourself," Ok now that he said that, I can talk. Right? Oh fuck, I don't want to mess this up. That'd be lowkey bad. That would highkey be lowkey bad....highkey.

"My name is....uh," I panicked for a second, not letting it show on my face as I carefully kept it blank. Ok, I don't want to say 'Lilith Marie' because then I'll stand out like a sore thumb and people would ask a lot of questions that I'd rather avoid.

"Kagome Higurashi...Yeah." I coughed awkwardly, really wanting to sink into a puddle and die right there. I couldn't think of any Japanese names and, yes, I stole the girl from Inuyasha's name. As my mind screamed at me for how bad I've royally fucked up, the Hokage smiled at me, probably thinking I'm nervous and shy. I'm not shy, I just have really bad social anxiety and people think it's quirky and cute.

"Well, Kagome, what brings you to Konoha?" I smiled a little at him, though, it probably looked like a grimace.

"I'm just looking for a temporary place to sleep and some food. I'm really not gonna stay here long." The Hokage's eyes flashed with something that I didn't quite catch but I ignored it.

"Do you plan on going somewhere?"

"No, not really," I said, you know, like a liar. "I'm just gonna stay here for a day or two and then leave. Probably wander around, I guess? I don't know." I ruffled my hair lightly, combing through it to distract myself from the dark thoughts that decided to show up after saying that.

"But a child shouldn't be left alone to wander through the forests. It's very dangerous." I scoffed softly, biting back the comment I was so tempted to make on his last statement.