chapter one ; excitement and anxiety

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"shan you bitch, come here!"

a loud yell echoes through the dorm number 19 around 7am in the morning. four girls are standing near the door ready to go, but one seems to be missing. the youngest is nowhere to be seen.

"yes mom, I'm coming I swear! just wait a second!" shan yells back from hers and sooyoungs bedroom.

"have you even clothes on girl? your stuff packed?" areum starts to sound a little annoyed already. as much as she does love their maknae, she can't stand people who can't keep up with schedules, and they were a few minutes late already. plus - it was the day their debut stage.

two minutes go, and shan finally runs to the door. her hair is messy, she is wearing the same t-shirt that the day before and her bag doesn't look fully packed at all.

"next time, you should wake up at least 20 minutes earlier." ember laughs as the girls make their way to their managers' car - that is more like a minibus - that is waiting for them right next to the door.

"how are you doing today girls? nervous or excited?" manager shiroma asks everyone when they've settled down to their places and manager hwang starts to drive.

"both! I feel like I could faint from nervousness but at the same time I could scream for excitement." sooyoung answers with a wide smile on her face.

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the backstage of inkigayo. staff running around in a hurry. five extremely nervous girls standing on a hallway leading to the main stage. the group who performed before them had just ended their stage, so they could get called to the stage any second.

"they're just like a dream - let's welcome lucidream to the stage!"

just when the girls are about to go to the stage, sohee stopped them. "wait, didn't we forget something?" she smirks to the others.

"oh you're right!" ember laughs.

"four, five, six, LUCIDREAM!" all the girls shout, smile to each other and walk to the stage. 

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lucidream was the second-last group to the perform, so after their own stage they had only few minutes to relax before the ranking announcement. the stage is already crowded with idols when they get there again.

"and the winner of this week is..."

the girls held the hands of each other and closed their eyes. they had heard that they're most likely in top5, maybe even in top3. none of them believed they had any chances to win, but it was an honor to be on so high rank on their debut day.

"apink with 10 242 points!" the announcer yells and continues soon "the second rank goes to chung ha with 10 189 points and on the third rank is lucidream with 10 158 points!"

even though they didn't win - the five girls are all very proud of their rank and score. like - it's less than a hundred points less than the winners score! and those winners have been on the industry for nearly eight years when they just debuted two days ago.

the girls listen to the winning speech of apink and congratulate them after that. while they're exiting the stage areum can't hold her excitement anymore.

"we did so well girls! I can't believe this is really true now - shan are you okay? shan?" areum notices that the maknae looks rather extremely anxious than happy.

"I guess I'm - the stage was just too crowded for my liking so I got a little anxious." shan explains and tries her best to put a forced smile on her face.

"a little? you looked like you could have started to cry any second. I didn't even know you're afraid of crowded places, next time we can stand more on the side so there will be a little more space." ember comforts her.

sooyoung hugs her best friend. "it's okay now, look, here's more space and fewer people. just breath."

"thanks a lot guys, I don't know what I could do without you." shan laughs a little and hugs sooyoung back.



it's already pretty late at night, but there are still five girls wide awake on lucidreams dorm number 19. two youngest are in their room - probably watching some lame netflix show.

three eldest girls have gathered around the kitchen table to eat something and to chat.

"sohee, how is sunwoo doing? you haven't seen him in nearly a week, aren't you missing him?" ember asks while still having some food in her mouth.

"please finish eating before you speak, that's gross. but sunwoo doing good. we did talk via a video chat after lunch, so I'm not missing him as badly anymore." sohee explains.

"enough of chit-chat ladies, have you seen this article?" areum cuts the conversation between the other two. both of them shake their heads since they have no idea about what article areum is speaking about.

"do not tell shan, but there is some negative articles about her looking "bitchy, disrespectful and ungrateful" on today's show. even though she was just anxious." sohee and ember nood and promise to not to tell shan. it's better that she doesn't hear about it.

but none of the three noticed that sooyoungs and shans rooms door was a little open and that someone had been listening to them from there.

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