No Place Like You : A Short Story

8.

"So what are we talking about today? What's on your mind?" Bria sat comfortably in the spacious office, on the black leather couch across from the young black woman she'd learned to be transparent with in the month and a half she'd been seeing her. Every Thursday evening and every Saturday morning.

Bria never saw herself going to therapy. She never thought she needed it but the way she broke down two months ago, seemingly out of nowhere, was enough for her mother to convince her otherwise and Bria agreed without argument. She thought she was doing well, dealing with her feelings and trauma on her own but she couldn't have been more wrong. Her first session with the therapist, the woman told her that just because she was talking and writing about it didn't mean she was moving past it and it all made sense now.

Bria was timid with the mental health professional– her first three sessions were awkward and strained as she tried not to divulge too much. Bria wasn't sure someone who looked no more than 5 years older than her could really help her but upon her fourth session, the woman she referred to as Ava, seemed to hit a button, triggering the levy within Bria to break and let all of her emotions rush out. Once Bria started opening up to someone other than her mother, that's when things started looking up and now she sat on the couch, with her legs tucked underneath her and her elbow resting on the arm as she propped her head up on her hand.

"Mmm well..." she chewed on her top lip, looking up to the teal painted ceiling.

"Need I remind you this is a judgment free zone. Your safe space. Say what you feel, hun."

Bria smirked at the term of endearment and sighed.

"Ava, I wanna talk about Florian." She said matter of factly.

"Oooh the infamous Florian. I'm not gonna lie, I've been waiting for you to share more about your relationship with him. Whenever you're ready." The woman's eyes seemed to light up and Bria shook her head with a chuckle.

She had teased at the topic of Florian but she wasn't quite ready to tell it all. Ava knew they had a thing and that Bria had abruptly ended it but she was waiting for Bria to fill in the gaps.

That she did. She told Ava everything from beginning to end and the woman stared at her curiously. Bria could almost see the calculations behind her eyes as they looked at each other. Bria jumped a little when her therapist abruptly jerked back, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward to get closer to Bria.

"So I'll say this– and hear me when I say it..."

Bria nodded, leaning forward as well.

"Florian...is NOT your father. He is NOT your ex-fiancée. He just isn't." She shrugged and shook her head slightly. "Do you remember the steps I gave you to let go?"

Bria nodded, feelings kind of dumb for not being able to fully apply to useful steps to this situation.

"There is no man in this world who is meant to love you the way your father didn't. It's impossible because it's not supposed to be a thing. The men who come into your life as an adult see you as an adult. Not the little girl who felt abandoned or unloved. That little girl can't dictate your relationships, Bria. She doesn't have the know-how to do that in a healthy manner. But grown- up Bria has the tools now, doesn't she?"

Bria dropped her head and nodded, feeling the lump forming in her throat already.

"Late as hell but...yes, I have the tools now."

"Better late than never." Ava perked up.
"And your ex-fiancée , who I strongly believe needs to come see me as well, is not a blueprint for all men. You have to remember that everyone has their own hang ups and sometimes they carry those issues into relationships with people they claim to love. He didn't know how to love you anymore than you knew how to receive love from a man and that's not your fault or his fault. Going by the last conversation the two of you had, I'd say the both of you are learning for the better. Yeah?"