The Last of Us

Chapter 9: Regrets May Somtimes be the End of Us

"I'm leaving now. I'm going to go north west to Washington." I said finally after many long moments of silence had past. The body lay unmoved as they all stood around her trying to figure out what to do. I deemed that matter pointless and decided to use my time more wisely, scanning the streets and planning my escape route.

"What's in Washington?" Linda asked, obviously concerned. "A large military base. I visited it once last year after a college tour. It must be safe there. Any of you are welcome to tag along with me but make your decisions now because i'm leaving. Jack may I have the keys to the truck?" I said without giving Linda a glance, forcing myself to stay as emotionally detached from the world as possible.

"Wait Bobby, I don't think you should just start driving now in the middle of the night. You don't know what or who is out there. Just wait till morning and we can all discuss this." Margaret pleaded with me as I opened the steel door. Everyone nodded in agreement and I snorted back at them, "This isn't anybody's choice but mine, and this isn't a democracy. This is survival, don't you understand that? You people need to get a grip on what the world has come to. You can't stay here all night mourning the deaths of others, especially those you don't even know. It doesn't matter that she's dead now, all that matters is survival and you won't be able to survive if you're attached." and with that, I gathered my belongings and went back inside the staircase.

I rushed down the stairs, and when I finally reached the bottom I found myself breathing heavy. I crossed the dark lobby of the building, and took out my gun as I walked through the doors and made my way outside. Only a few goons remained out here and I was able to quickly walk by them and get into the car. I started up the car and realized that Jack must have left his sidearm in the car. I picked it up and checked its condition. It looked as though it had been cleaned recently and it was fully loaded. It was a small pistol, and was charcoal colored. The cold steel made my hand shiver and I jumped when I heard a slam on the passenger window. Linda and Samantha jumped into the car.

I found myself staring at them confused, as I heard their parents screaming from the front of the building for them to come back. This obviously attracted plenty of goons, and one of them managed to get its hand stuck in the passenger door that Linda was closing. Samantha who sat in the back seat holding her rifle, and quickly pulled out a short machete like knife, and with a quick swipe of it she dismembered the goon and the hand fell to the floor of the car.

Linda screamed, and quickly threw it out the window as we pulled away. A large group of goons closed in on the adults in the lobby of the building. They were unable to lock the front door in time and had been over run. I hit the gas and made the engine roar to mask the sounds of the screaming victims who we had now left to die.

Linda began to sob, and even the thick-skinned Samantha teared up as they looked out the back window watching, probably feeling the guilt overwhelm their minds and emotions. Yet I felt nothing of the sort. Not once did any sort of guilt or feeling of betrayal cross my mind. I thought of how Jack and Samantha had saved me from suicide and/or being eaten alive, But then I glanced at Samantha through the rearview window and told myself that having her alive, here with me, was payment enough.

A life for a life, I thought that was a good motto to live by from now on, but then again I would probably be on the short end of that soon... very soon.

"Where are we going?" Linda broke the long silence awkwardly. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and sniffled as we drove by over turned car wrecks and goons on the highway. The smell of death and rotting flesh was overtaking the car, so we rolled up the windows and turned the heater on.

"Seattle." I answered coldly. I wanted nothing more than to regain the silence that had just been eradicated from the car. Linda must have sensed that by the tone in which I had answered her, and stopped her questions. Samantha had been more silent than I had been the entire drive so far, I couldn't even hear her breathing so I decided to look at her through the rearview mirror again.

She seemed to be fast asleep in the back seat, still clutching her rifle as if it was for dear life. I found that ironic when I turned to find her bleeding to death...

Linda yelled for me to pull over and I did as she said, feeling slightly worried. We hadn't seen a goon in miles so I thought that the service road stop wouldn't be such a bad idea anyway. Samantha had slit her wrist wide open with her knife, and had been bleeding out for god knows how long. Neither I nor Linda were any sort of doctor and had no idea what to do.

I pulled the sleeves off one of the extra shirts I had packed and wrapped it tightly around the large gash in her wrist. She groaned weakly, but wasn't able to open her eyes. Linda told her to stay awake and let her sip some water as I got out of the car and rushed inside the small gas station mart at the roadside stop. The place had been ravaged and scavenged far beyond belief, and it looked as if there hadn't been anything inside to begin with.

I looked frantically for any sort of bandage or first aid type medical supplies but found next to nothing. I grabbed a couple of boxes of bandaids, another t shirt to rewrap the wound, and a couple of bottles of rubbing alcohol to clean the wound. I found some other supplies such as a few Gatorade bottles, and some beef jerky.

I realized I was taking more time than I should, and I rushed back out to the car. The highway was still deserted where we were and I was thankful for that. It also gave me hope that maybe the infection hadn't spread as far as I thought it would have. I jumped back into the car, only to find Linda staring out the front window, and Samantha looking blankly up at the ceiling of the car. Her eyes looked hazy and glazed over. Without a sound, I shut her eyes and took her body out of the car.

I forced myself not to look at her as I put her body into the forest area to the right of the service road. I felt a small tear fall down my right cheek, which surprised me but I quickly wiped it away and cursed myself for feeling any attachment towards her. I filled up the car with gas, and I filled up a couple more tanks with gas and put them into the car. I got back into the driver's seat and Linda continued her trance-like stare out the window. I started the car and we continued our journey.

"I hate you." She said suddenly after about an hour of driving on this desolate and extremely monotonous road. "Why?" I asked, uninterested. "You killed all of them." She said, obviously not thinking logically. I hadn't laid a finger on any of them. "Actually they all killed themselves. Neither of you had to follow me, it was your choice, and you made it." I said, trying not to take it too personally but I was having trouble with that. "Fuck you, Bobby." she sobbed.

I pulled the car over, and looked at her. "Would you like to get out then? If you hate me so much." I said almost in a taunting tone. I wasn't in the mood for childish antics. "No." She answered flatly, finally realizing what she was accusing me of. I began to drive again, and turned on the radio to occupy myself so I wouldn't go insane watching the road and trees that all seemed to look the same now. Though I realized I must have gone off the deep end a while ago when I shot the blonde girl. I thought about my motto again, "a life for a life" and I snorted realizing it was time for me to pay my life back for the one I had taken earlier. The only problem was that I saw death as a mercy. I knew there was no god that would just kill me now and end this nightmare. So despite myself I decided to keep on pushing.

The radio played the same emergency service announcement over and over again, no matter how far away from Colorado we went. I asked myself why I was listening to this, since it was basically the same as watching the trees around us that all looked the same. I looked over at Linda and realized that I was only listening to this so I wouldn't hear her crying next to me.

I snorted and chuckled to myself, finally figuring out and realizing what a cold, prick I was and I found it comical. But as we came closer to a small town just off the exit on the freeway, a horde of goons blocked off the road, and I found nothing about our situation comical anymore.