By the time the sun rose, she was exhausted, padding through thinner snow, not knowing exactly where she was.
She didn't think it was the pack's territory any longer, though she was too tired, too distraught to really figure out what she was smelling.
As the last of the night was fading into light of day, she stopped upon hearing a familiar sound from so, so far away.
She shut her eyes as her heart broke open again.
He was howling. He was calling for her. The sound was slow-moving, yet desperate, and unceasing as he barely stopped for breath before holding another long, smooth, pained note.
And she couldn't move, was unable to, until he stopped.
He'd lost that trail–
He'd lost her.
As the afternoon sun beat down upon him, he lay where he was, curling himself up into a tight ball, sighing sigh after sigh, hearing groan after groan come out of him.
He didn't go back to the pack that night, wandering it seemed aimlessly, hoping, praying, for some sign of her: his mate, his one and only.
She'd been contemplating her return because of that treacherous little self-centered secret wish that he'd find her... Even though she'd made sure he wouldn't find her. He had taught her to disappear, even with snow on the ground.
Every night, he would call to her. And every night, the sound was more and more distant.
How could she have done this to him? Why hadn't she taken him with her?
But, one day, just after eating her fill of a squirrel– more fluff than meat, really– something clicked.
Be it in her head, be it her making the connections between her behavior and her body, be it her hormones– anything.
Pups were on the way.
All of how she felt, all of how they acted, all of what they did, all how others reacted–
Did most dogs find out this way? There was no shortage of puppies in Kuno. But–
She rolled on her back, craning her neck, trying to see if her stomach was swollen the way she'd seen so many mothers before her. She didn't think it was. What a nightmare this was to have to try and figure out yourself! Why did nobody tell her? Why did nobody talk about these things?
Whining, she stretched. Physically she didn't feel any different. Tired from hunting her own food and exhausted from thinking, but no odd sensations.
She rolled up, tongue lolling out of her mouth, excitement hitting her full on to think of how Luci would react when–
If she'd been unsafe and unwelcome there, then how would her pups be treated?
The story of what a pack had done to Luci's mother was slowly turning into a horror story in her head as she paced and paced in circles, beating a circle into the snow.
When she had her conclusion, she sat down where she was.
Upset was filling her up, weighing her down, making her stare blankly ahead into the soft-falling snow.
Things had gotten a whole lot more complicated. And a whole lot more heart-rendering.
