There For You ( Luke Hemmings )

Chapter 30.

Jess P.o.V

I woke up to a bright light shining in the window and momenterily forgot about everything. I rolled over on my side and picked up my phone, to see that I had 9 missed calls and 20 messages. I immediately checked to see who they were from, hoping that nothing was wrong, when it hit me. When I remebered everything that had happened. 

My head hurt, my heart hurt, my chest hurt, my eyes stung. Those 5 seconds after waking up were bliss, a heaven of some sort, I was just numb to the pain and I forgot about everything, but of course that wasn't the reality. The reality was my heart was broken and two of the most important people to me now meant nothing.

I checked my messages. 11 messages from Ashton and 9 from Luke. 

I checked my missed calls. 5 from Luke, 4 from Ashton.

I put my phone down, not interested in what they had to say. I wanted to cry, I needed to cry, but I couldn't. I felt like there was no tears left, it may sound stupid, but I had cried so much the previous night that I just couldn't cry. Instead I felt sadness engulf me. I hated it, I hated feeling like this. Crying helped the pain, it eased the pain, it gave me a sense of relief. Not being able to cry, it felt like the sadness was trapped inside me, demanding to be felt.

I had never felt a pain like this, not when my father left, not when Ashton's father left him and he was sad, not when any of my other boyfriends broke up with me. This was different, it felt like my heart had been ripped out and broken in millions of pieces. Ashton and Luke meant so much to me, no had meant so much to me. 

I may have only been with Luke for just over two months but it was enough to fall in love with him. All the little things about him. His personality; how he always knew what to say, and what not to say, how he was always so nice and he cared so much. His smile, his lips, his lip ring, his lip bites, his dimples, his nose, his eyes and their exact shade of blue, his hair, the thing he did with his feet when he was nervous, his voice, the songs he sung and the way he played for guitar.

As for Ashton I had known him since I was 4. He was the perfect best friend, and the person everybody needed in their life. He was always there when I needed him, he cared for me, he made me happy, he always kew what to say, he was forgiving, he was understanding, he was amazing, he was talented, he could sing, he could play almost any instrument and he was reliable. His laugh could make your day better no matter what, his smile could light up this whole town and his dimples were the cutest thing.

Thinking about them hurt, it made my heart hurt even more. It felt odd that I wanted to cry, most people try to hold back their tears, honestly I usually do, but at that moment all I wanted to do was cry. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and put the blanket back over my head. I starting sobbing, but not a single tear fell. I'm not sure how long I stayed like that, but after what felt like forever I heard a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?" Calum whispered barely audible.

"Y-yeah," My voice came out muffled.

I heard the door swing open softly and a few seconds later I felt the sheets being removed from me, I tried to pull them back up but Calum lay down beside me before I could.

"Sometimes a hug helps," Calum smiled at me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You don't have to Calum," I sighed into his shoulder.

"What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't comfort you right now," He giggled, well really it was more of a chuckle. I tried to laugh back but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry," I broke the silence that had formed between us.

"For what?" He asked.

"For ruining your pillow, your shirt and your day," I sighed. Once we had got back to Calum's, he showed me where I could sleep, I lay down on the bed and cried. I didn't even bother to remove my makeup. At some point during the night the door opened and someone thrown a t-shirt and sweatpants in the door. I dragged myself out of bed and changed into the t-shirt and sweatpants, just happy to get out of my dress. I got back into bed and eventually cried myself to sleep.