Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Chapter Three

Dani sat in on the window sill, watching as people came and went. Her mother had left the front door open so no would have to bother with letting anyone in. Close family members sat in the kitchen, talking and taking the kind words from their friends that would come to give them. At first it had just been her neighbors that had come over, not people she had never seen before were coming. They would talk to her, tell her how sorry they were and she would just smile and take it.

            Turning a little, she let her feet touch the ground and slowly stood up, smoothing her dress down as she did. She hadn’t moved from her spot since they had returned from the cemetery. Stretching out a little, she walked towards the stairs and made her way up. Looking at her brother’s room, she walked inside and saw him sitting on the floor playing with his toys. He looked up at her, and smiled.

            She couldn’t help but smile as well as she walked over to him and squatted next to him, “Can I play to?” She asked softly.

            He nodded and handed her a toy car. Sitting down, she played with him, doing as he instructed her. She couldn’t help but smile and laugh at every little thing he did. After a while though, he stopped playing and looked at her.

            “Sissy… Dad’s not coming back… Is he…” He looked her in the eyes.

            Dani looked away from him, she couldn’t look him in eyes, “No Drew, he’s gone…”

            Drew looked down at his toys, “He’s with God and grandma now… Right?”

            A single tear ran down her cheek as she took a shaky breath, “Yes… But…” She looked at him and tried to smile, “When you go to bed, he will be there with you in your dreams. And…” She touched his chest gently above his heart, “He’s always right here.”

            He stared down at his chest then looked up at her. Standing, he gave her the biggest hug his tiny arms would allow, “I love you Sissy.”

            “I love you too Drew…” She whispered, hugging him back.

            A knock on the bedroom door made them look over to see their mother standing there, a sad smile on her face, “Hey you two, want to come down and actually talk to people?”

            Dani shook her head and stood up, “I want to be alone for a little, I’ll go back down in a little while.” Taking Drew’s tiny hand, she led him to her mom then left them there as she walked down the hall and to her room. Once inside, she closed and locked the door behind her.

            She pulled off her dress and pulled on a pair of black jeans and her large Alice Copper T-shirt that her father had given to her the year before for her birthday. Wrapping her arms around herself, she sat down on the edge of her bed and looked around her room. Her black curtains were closed, shutting out the light, making the room darker than usual. It felt nice to her, calm, quiet, a place to hide.

            Standing up from her bed, she walked over to her vanity and looked at all the pictures on it. Some were of her and friends and even with some family members. But mostly all of them had her father in them. Gathering the ones he was in, she opened the bottom drawer of her vanity and sat them inside. Closing her eyes tightly, she closed the drawer and took a step back.

            Opening her eyes, she turned her attention to her posters. She remembered hanging them all up with her father and mother when they had moved in. It was before her mother’s life had become all about work, when Drew was only three. Moving from wall to wall, she ripped down each poster and rolled them up. After getting them all down she hid them in the back of her closet.

            Dani took one last look at her room. Her eyes landed on a stuffed Panda that was sitting on her bed watching her. Walking to her bed, she picked it and held onto it. She could still remember when she had gotten it.

            “Dani? What’s wrong sweetie, why are you crying?” Her father sat on the edge of his young child’s bed, wiping away her eyes.

            “I had a bad dream.” She whimpered, crawling out from her covers and clinging to him tightly.

            He seemed to think about something before standing up and picking her up with him, “Well, I think I have something that can fix that.”

            He carried her to the closet in the hall and opened the door to it. Boxes were stacked up inside it. Setting her down, he started to rummage through each box. After the third box he found what he was looking for and handed her a stuffed panda bear.

            “This is Darian, he kept away all of my bad dreams when I was little and now he will keep yours away too.” He smiled down at his daughter, watching as she studied the bear.

            A smile spread across Dani’s face and she hugged the bear tightly, “Thank you daddy!”

            Sliding to the floor, Dani hugged Darian tightly to her chest, hiding her face in his fur, “I can’t hide you… I can’t shut you away… You’re too special.” She whispered to the bear, not caring if it answered her or not.

            Lifting up her head, she held the bear out at arm’s length and studied it, “You’ll help me sleep still won’t you?” She could feel her eyes burn as new tears threatened to come, “You’ll keep him out of my dreams... Right?” A pained smile came to her face as she brought the bear close again and kissed it on the nose.

            Standing up, she put him back in his rightful place on her bed. Turning away from the bed she went to her door and unlocked it. She knew she needed to return to the downstairs or her mother would come looking for her again. Opening the door, she stepped out and made her way down the hall then down the stairs. Just to find that their house was full of people, all of which turned to look at her when she got off the last step.