First of all, I am not sad. I hate it when people make the assumption that just because I have depression I'm sad all the time like Eeyore.
I'm depressed, not sad - there's a difference, believe it or not. The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines depression like this:
"Major depression is also known as clinical depression, major depressive illness, major affective disorder and unipolar mood disorder. It involves some combination of the following symptoms: depressed mood (sadness), poor concentration, insomnia, fatigue, appetite disturbances, excessive guilt and thoughts of suicide. Left untreated, depression can lead to serious impairment in daily functioning and even suicide, which is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Researchers believe that more than one-half of people who die by suicide are experiencing depression."
Now for my definition: Depression is the inability to do the things that you used to love. You can't seem to wake up, you feel like nothing you do is right and there's this immense cloud and/or void that feels like it's going to swallow you whole. Yes, sadness does play a part in it but it's a different kind of sadness - the worst kind: the kind that doesn't go away no matter how many funny movies you watch or how long you hang out with your friends.
Your brain is your worst enemy because it can't produce enough happy juice to get you through the day and it constantly reminds you of how much you suck, how awful life is and how nobody cares about you and your pathetic life.
My brain was telling me two different things. See, I have this logic thing that was telling me the exact opposite of what my emotions were. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: The light side was telling me I was loved, I had no reason to want to die and I needed to talk to someone; the dark side was telling me I wanted to die and I wouldn't be missed.
The thing about depression is that there is so much people don't know; they seem to think people suffering depressions can help themselves. When they finally do pull that trigger, pop that last pill or tighten that noose, they think the individual had a choice - but he or she didn't.
People living with depression can't just stop it; they are ashamed of themselves. They're terrified they're going to be seen as weak, overdramatic or silly.
This stigma people have about depression makes sufferers more depressed.
Depression is a disease, an illness. It's just as serious as high blood pressure or diabetes. It requires daily medication, just like those other conditions. I take medication every day and I'm not ashamed to say so. I need these medications, just like a person with diabetes needs insulin. If I don't take the medicine, I am a horrible person to be around. When I don't take my medication, I sink back into a deep, dark place; I become moody, lethargic, I can't concentrate and I don't enjoy things that I used to.
It makes me so angry when people have this idea that having depression is the patient's fault. You wouldn't blame someone for having cancer, diabetes or high blood pressure; stop blaming people who have depression, stop telling them to "cheer up" or "get over it."
I hope after reading this, you get a new idea about depression - that you see it's a disease, not a fleeting illness that can be treated for a week, expecting the patient to be all better afterward. It requires patience and as much understanding as you can muster.
