When I opened my eyes,
And you weren't there,
I realized that...
I don't want to be away from you anymore.
I know that "sorry"
Is just another word
That doesn't mean shit anymore...
But I really don't know what else to say.
I've lost the words I wanted to say.
I can't say that
I can't take being without you.
That when you're gone,
My veins ache.
That my heart stops
Because my blood won't flow
Until I hear from you.
I can't tell you
That my lungs won't breathe
Until they know that the scent of you
Will be the first thing that fills them.
I can't tell you
That my tears have your name.
Because I cry out for your heart,
And your love never hears.
I can't tell you
That the side of the bed you slept on,
Is still unmade.
Because even after that one time you came over for support,
I couldn't bring myself
To touch the same thing you did.
Even my heart.
Its still messy,
But I still hope that you'll come back
And make it up one day.
I can't tell you that I love you.
Because those three words have hurt you
More that I care to remember.
And even if it hurts me to keep it in,
I'll wait for the day
Those words mean as much to you again
As they do to me.
I can't tell you
That I'm weak.
And a coward.
And pathetic.
Because I'd be too afraid that you'll respond with,
"I know."
I can't tell you
That my heart won't breathe
And my lungs won't beat
And I'm mixing up my words
Because my knees get weak
When I see you.
I can't tell you that I love you.
But even though this is not what you wanted to hear,
I can tell you that I'm sorry I may never be able to tell you
What I want to.
I love you.
_____
This is dedicated to @TheSpiritGaveMeWords because her poem, "You're Not Okay" won my poetry contest! You should check it out! :D
~Mikaila <|:3
