"LEPITA!" Jerry called out from the couch.
"WHAT?!" his girlfriend yelled back.
"Come here I need to talk to you!"
"Ughhhhh fine!" Lepita strutted her way towards the lounge room where she found Jerry sprawled over the couch wearing nothing but a pair of tighty-whiteys.
This wasn't the sexy "paint me like one of your French girls" kind of couch position, it was a "shit...it's like 2538 degrees in here!!" kind of couch position.
Words seemed to escape Lepita for a moment, "What....is that? It doesn't look right."
"Oh you know what it is." Jerry winked but his dirty and sweaty exterior made him look like a creepy man at a train station.
The tighty-whiteys just weren't working for Lepita but Jerry thought he was Playgirl material. Lepita looked at Jerry in disgust for a while before asking what he wanted.
"Oh, right." Jerry began, "I need a pair of thongs, I can't wear my runners in forty degree heat! You should grab some too babe."
"Yeah, alright then. Put some bloody pants on and let's go! Most guys look better when they're not wearing a shirt..." Lepita said under her breath.
"What was that babe?"
"Nothing honey! Let's go!"
Lepita and Jerry dragged themselves to the $2 store down the road. They slouched in and sighed with relief when the cool air hit them. The little lady resting behind the counter jumped when she heard the jingle of the wind chime from above the door.
"Oh, ah welcome!" she exclaimed, rubbing her eyes.
"Hey! We're just looking for a couple of pairs of thongs, could you please tell us where they are?" asked Lepita.
"Yes, yes of course! They're over there next to the mirrors."
"Thankyou!"
Lepita walked over to the mountain of shoes, holding her boyfriend's hand as he slowly shuffled along with her.
"You really can't handle the heat, can you?" she asked, getting annoyed.
"You said it sista." Jerry said, followed by a huge gasp for air. Lepita gave him a dirty look and continued towards the thongs.
"Here we are, grab yourself a pair and let's go."
"Gee thanks, mum."
"You know Jerry, I'm getting real tired of your shit." Jerry had never seen a dirtier look come from his beautiful girlfriend. Lepita reached out and grabbed a pair of size 10 pink thongs.
"WHAT?! No way are your feet that big?!" Jerry exclaimed, he suddenly thought that the love of his life was a monster. Lepita shot another dirty look his way, this one made Jerry cower.
He reached for his pair of thongs, a blue pair. When they placed them on the counter, Jerry realised that Lepita and himself had the same size feet. 'Am I dating a woman or big foot? Man, this ain't right.' Jerry thought to himself, suddenly sweating a lot more than what he already had been.
"Five dollars please." said the woman behind the counter.
Lepita handed her the money with a smile. "So much for a $2 store." she mumbled to herself.
Jerry and Lepita clambered their way back to Jerry's house where they found his mum, Betty, making fresh fries and tomato sauce. Lepita placed the plastic bag on the kitchen bench and grabbed Jerry's hand to lead him towards the other room, she thought they needed to talk.
