Insanity why are you my Clarity?

CHAPTER 14 (Rejected)

I am obviously chanting here right now, na sana wag na siyang magreact sa pag-akbay sa akin ni Mike. It’s normal, kasi dati naman na namin ito ginagawa pero not to him. He doesn’t want anyone near me. He’s too possessive.

Marami na ang naiinom nila kuya and by the looks of Christian, marami na rin siyang naiinom. That look is definitely for me. He’s shooting daggers at Mike everytime he will talk to me. This has been the most awkward situation I have been; it’s not fvcking nice. I am being brave here, by fighting all my demons including Christian’s. It’s not easy, knowing he’sthe most dangerous monster you can ever encounter.

He is more than a viper, because he is just like a vampire. He bites you then dumps you like a trash. He will come to me to fvck and come home to his lovely little girlfriend. He treats me like his slut and it’s not nice. I’ve been raised to be a respectable and classy woman and with him invading my life makes it more difficult to be what I should be.

Nakakagalit pero mahal ko. Mahal ko ang gagong ‘to. Even if he doesn’t care about how hurt I am deep inside, still he doesn’t give a fvck. Why did I come to love him? Sabi nga sa isang movie, “How do I unlove you?” na kahit ako hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ba tinatanong sa sarili ko.

Wala namang magic potion na pwedeng magpawala ng nararamdaman. I really do hope na meron kahit pa itaya ko na ang lahat ng pag-aari ko, including my trust fund if that’s the case.

“Aly, uwi na kami nila kuya. Look at Christot, he’s wasted.” Tinuro ni Althea Marie si Christian na nakahandusay sa sala na bukas ang mga mata at nakatingin sa bote ng beer. Kuya Andrei is dancing with my brother and his friends.

“Yeah, you probably should take him home, may pasok bukas. Si Mike umuwi na din kasi mahirap na kung male-late daw siya sa planta.” I gave her a faint smile. Papaakyat n asana ako sa kwarto nang magsalita si Christian.

“Alyssa! Wow, you look… sexy pala kapag nakasuot lang ng t shirt.” He is laughing hysterically while Althea Marie is trying to make him stand. He pushes her away and walked towards me. Napapout siya sa ginawa ng kuya niya.

“Kuya! Don’t joke around with Aly again, please.” Pero hindi niya napigilan ang kuya niya at hinawakan ako sa kamay. Nagulat ako, at natakot sa pupwedeng niyang gawin. He’s looking at me with pain and sadness pero hindi ko siya pwedeng pansinin.

“Christot! Talagang maganda at sexy ako, kaya umuwi ka na kasi you damn stink.” I made a nervous laugh and started walking away pero hindi niya pa rin ako binitawan. Natatakot ako sa kung anong pwedeng sabihin niya na maririnig ng lahat. His mouth went into a hard line. Alam kong alam niya na naiinis na ako. He’s trying to get my reaction, pero hindi. Hindi ko ibibigay ang gusto niya.

“Really… come on. I want to see what’s inside that shirt para masigirado ko nga na sexy ka.” He whispered on my ear and gave it a lick. I squealed at naitulak ko siya. I ran upstairs and hid in my room. Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa door knob.

A sound of footsteps caught my ears. The sound stopped and a hard knock went blasting on my door. Hindi naman siguro si Christian ‘to. This person knocking is not him. This is not him. As I turn the knob, bigla akong naitulak ng taong kumakatok.

It’s fvcking Christian. He locked the door and and rested his head on my shoulder. He’s definitely too drunk. He lost balance and we collapsed on the floor with his lips touching my neck.

The room is dark, and felt really cold. I heard the rain starting to fall down at pakiramdam ko may mali sa aming dalawa.

“Mag-usap nga tayo, Christian.” Agad siyang umalis sa harapan ko at umupo sa dulo ng kama. He’s trying to cool down his hot face. Kanina pa siya namumula at parang masisiraan ng bait.