Fallen Angels

Tears of Fucking Joy

RICKY'S POV

It's been about two days. I haven't slept. I haven't eaten. I haven't stopped crying.

My eyes are bloodshot. My hands shake. My face is red and stained with tears. I hold down the puke that tries to escape.

I have new scars on my arms, thighs, and stomach. I'm going crazy.

I seek comfort in Andy's, and only Andy's arms.

My face is pale and sickly. My eyed have dark circles around them.

My hair is frizzy and tangled.

I've been overdosing anti-depressants and pain relieving pills.

Andy cradles my frail body in his arms and sings to me.

"Ricky, you want some pizza?" CC asks.

"No." I grumble, my face buried in my even thinner arms.

He sits down next to me. "Ricky, you have to eat."

"No, I don't. I've rarely eaten for now nineteen years now and I'm fine." I snap.

"Ricky."

I swing a punch at him. "NO."

He wipes some blood from his nose and walks away.

Andy sits me up on his lap. "Ricky, try."

"YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR AN ANOREXIC PERSON TO 'TRY' TO EAT?!" I snap.

He hands me an apple. I push it away.

"Here." He digs his fingers into it and rips off a piece. He slowly pushes it toward my mouth.

I look at his hand and refuse like a baby.

"No, Ricky. Just look at me." He smiles.

I stare into his bright blue eyes, my mouth open.

He drops the apple piece in my mouth and chuckles. "Now chew."

I start chewing and swallow.

"See? There you go."

He feeds me a quarter of the apple before I groan that I'm done.

"Now can you try to sleep?" He asks.

"Andy, I'm not a child." I groan.

"I know. But I want you to be okay." He whispers.

I give in and close my eyes.

I see Rachel's bloody body on the bathroom floor and feel my heart beat faster. I see myself dressed in a black dress, standing in front of a tombstone. Rachel Smith it says.

I gasp awake and fall to the floor. Tears rush down my face and I puke all over my shirt. I cry some more and gasp for air.

I look up and see everyone's gone.

I throw up some more and roll on my back, grabbing at the air.

I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack and there's no one to help me.

JAKE'S POV

I hug Rachel and smile. "I'm glad you're okay." I say.

She smiles and tucks her hair behind her air.

When Ashley called, Ricky was still asleep. So we decided to take Rachel back to the bus to surprise her.

It's been maybe an hour.

"Alright. Let's get back to the bus." Andy says and we drive back.

I open the door and let everyone walk in front as I hold the door.

They all stop.

I peek through their heads and see Ricky on the floor, unconscious, puke all over the floor. Her limp body shakes.

"Ricky? RICKY!" Andy carries her wedding-style and tries to find a pulse. "Oh no..."

"SHE'S DEAD?!" Ashley shouts.

"No! She's alive. She just had..." I look at Rachel.

Her face goes white and she paces around, her head in her hand. "Oh my fuck."

"What?" Jinxx asks.

"She...she had an anxiety attack! And we weren't there to help her!" She cries.

"How long were we gone?" Ashley puts his arm around her.

"About an hour and a half." Andy turns his head to hide tears that slowly run down his cheeks.

Ricky's head hangs over Andy's arms, her blue hair like a waterfall.

Andy cradles her head and kisses her cold lips.

He carries her outside and tries not to cry.

We all sit in silence.

About three hours later, Andy walks in, his fingers in Ricky's. She limps and her breath is staggery.

Rachel runs to hug her.

Ricky hugs back and tears flow.

"I'm so happy you're okay." Ricky whispers.

"What about you? I almost lost you when I just came back to life!" Rachel laughs as tears keep flowing.

"It's okay." Ricky hugs her again.

We all smash ourselves onto them and wrap our arms around them.

"Okay is this a group hug or a mosh pit?" Ricky laughs.

We laugh and Andy hugs Ricky.

"I love you. And I will never let you die."