Secrets Are For Keeping

Chapter Three

My fingers found the metal doorknob, and I pulled, expecting it to be heavy. In reality, it was much lighter, and the door opened easily. The room beyond the door seemed relatively small, and had a white tiled floor surrounded on all sides with beige colored walls. In the middle of the room sat a chair that looked like it belonged in a doctor's office rather than a government building. Next to the chair stood a man with large glasses, graying hair, and a white lab coat.

"Please, come in," the man said, smiling at me as I walked into the miniature replica of a doctor's office.

"Sit."

I sat down in the chair on command, listening to Olivia's advice. My feet rested against the footholds as the doctor's gloved hand pressed my forehead down so that the back of my head was completely against the seat. It caused my neck to be at an uncomfortable angle. The doctor smiled one last time at me, then his face disappeared from view, replaced by the bright fluorescent lights overhead.

"Nova Carlson. Sixteen years of age. Legal guardian is Olivia Carlson. Lives in Eastern City Apartments, address of 4325 Ninth Avenue. Born on the third of November," the man said, listing off my personal information. I could see him in the corner of my vision reading from a white piece of paper that contained an overview of me.

"Well, Nova," he said, closing a folder that held the white sheet of paper in it. "Let's get started. The procedure is simple, so there's nothing to be afraid about."

His words didn't change the fact that I was becoming more scared with every minute. Anxiety filled my entire body. Not knowing what was about to happen was slowly ripping me apart inside.

"After I finish the procedure, this bracelet will be connected to you. You can't take it off. Understand?" The way he looked at me over the top of his glasses made it seem like he was talking to a three-year-old. I gave a stiff nod in response, trying not to show how nervous I was.

The man disappeared from my vision for a second, before coming back a moment later with something clutched in his fist. At first, I couldn't recognize it....but then I realized it was a large needle. One with a six-inch-long sharp point.

I didn't like to admit to being afraid of anything, just like anyone else, but deep down I knew one of my greatest fears lay in needles. It was just a fact, that ever since I was born I couldn't stand even looking at them. Syringes, blood, solutions to be injected into arms...they scared me more than anything else. When I was only five years old and my parents were still alive, I'd nearly broken a tray of equipment when I'd been told I was getting a shot. The doctor, a woman with a bright smile and dimples, had just tried to comfort me by telling me I'd receive a toy afterwards if I would just sit down like a good girl. I had continued to resist, not caring about what she would give me, leading to another doctor having to come in to hold me down. At that point, I'd been bawling my eyes out.

I never really understood why they scared me, though. Most of the time, it merely took a second for the thin needle to puncture my skin, and then the stinging pain would be gone. It rarely actually hurt me. It was difficult for me to contemplate further, as the man began moving the needle towards me.

I couldn't think anymore...all I could see was the sharp point, so much larger and seemingly more painful than anything I'd ever seen before. It gleamed underneath the fluorescent light, reminding me of a scene from a horror movie.

My brain screamed at me to move.

I jerked my head up and almost got out of the chair before the doctor was able to put a hand on my shoulder and shove me back down. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead as my heartbeat increased. I could barely hear what the doctor was saying, but soon made it out to be words of comfort. "It's okay, Nova. You'll barely feel it. It's okay...just lie down...don't move..."

My head was forcefully pressed down against the back of the chair. "I'm sorry...." The doctor was apologizing for something, but I couldn't really pay attention to what. Then there was a black strap coming up from the chair and pressing along my forehead. "...can't have you moving during this...could cause brain damage......"

My entire body was panicking. I couldn't help myself.

The needle was enough to set me on edge, but strapping me here? It just reminded me of how trapped I was, how it was impossible to escape what was going to happen next. My legs bucked against the chair as the doctor went back to his desk where he must've placed the syringe before strapping me down.

"Nova...calm down!" The doctor was shouting now, and then straps were coming up around my arms and legs. I totally forgot where I was, and the scene went from something that could've realistically happened at some point in my life to a complete nightmare. My limbs could no longer jerk or even slide an inch.

The doctor seemed frazzled when his face hovered above me once again, needle in hand. "I'll make this fast...," he muttered as he backed away a bit and disappeared from above me. This only freaked me out more, because now I had no idea what was coming or when it was going to happen.

And then I felt it.

Cold pressing up against the skin right behind my ear. Something sharp pinched me and I yelled out, more out of shock than real pain. My entire body froze in anticipation, and then released as the feeling of the needle inside of me disappeared.

My chest was rising heavily when the doctor appeared once more in my field of view.

"See, easy." His voice was much more relaxed now that he had finished his procedure and everything apparently had gone as planned. "That's it."

He undid the straps around my arms, legs, and forehead, and I was finally able to move again. I sat up in the chair, my arms shaking as I tried pushing myself upright. There was an odd feeling in my head, like everything was suddenly.....clearer...or maybe I was just imagining it. My mind felt confused, but the panic had subsided.

The doctor grabbed my wrist suddenly and what felt like an electric shock went up my arm. When I looked down towards my right hand, I saw a new bracelet, much like what I'd seen on TV, wrapped around my wrist. It was metallic with the part facing up having a black surface that reminded me of the screen of my phone.

"Don't try taking off the bracelet. It won't work." The doctor observed me for one second longer before turning around and starting to write things down on a sheet of paper. If it was about me, I could only imagine the report he was giving. Extremely sensitive to needles. Almost kicked me in the face. Wouldn't listen to directions. All of them would be true. And none of them would be helpful to me.

I'd not done the one thing I'd wanted myself, and Olivia had wanted me, to do. And that was keep myself from being noticed.

Because staying unnoticed was the only way to survive.