Mermaids And The Vampires Who Love Them

24. THE LAVA LAMP OF LUMINESCENT WISDOM

"Welcome back, ladies," Cupid says. "I trust you found the facilities to your liking?"

"Yes, Cupid. All is well in your god-sized bathroom," I say.

"Good to know. And for the record, the bathroom isn't the only thing god-sized around here." Cupid grins and does his lecherous eyebrow wiggle.

Ugh.

"Could've fooled me," Shelly says. "We all saw the naked statue of you out front."

Score! A point for Shelly!

Cupid turns as red as the roses in his garden. Actually, the redder he gets, the paler the roses look, like he's stealing their color. "I was a baby."

"Of course," Shelly says.

Cupid straightens the hem of his toga. "I suppose you're an expert. And, Zeus knows, I do prefer someone with experience."

Shelly's eyes flash, and her fists clench. I better change the subject before we have an all-out brawl. "Much as I hate to interrupt this 'conversation' you and Shelly are having, we have something important to talk to all of you about."

"Fine," Cupid says. "Everyone sit. We'll get to your little problem in just a moment. We're almost done with the party planning."

"This is more important than party planning," I say. I don't think I can focus on celebrating when so many of our friends are at risk.

"Do not question a god, Waverly. Trust me. This party will be one of the most important events in your life."

"But ..."

"Enough. Now, the party." Cupid waves his hand, and a scroll appears—hanging in the air with no one holding it. "Let me see. I will enquire about using that old warehouse as the venue. There will be a costume contest with Gaia, Iridessa, and Crumpet as judges. Gaia will absolutely hate doing it, so all the more reason to pick her." Cupid chuckles and then snorts. "Sorry, that is going to be terribly amusing. And Iridessa will judge even though she has no taste and no sense of humor. And Crumpet loves Halloween, so he must be a judge."

"Er ... Cupid, why would you appoint Iridessa when she has no sense of humor and no taste?" I ask.

"Because I'm already on Iridessa's Bad List, and if she doesn't get to judge, she'll turn me into a frog. Again." Cupid rolls his eyes. "Fairies are always stuck in the past. They have the absolute worst imaginations. Sorry, Lily-Bella, Pickles. You guys aren't like her."

"It's okay, Cupid. I pretty much agree. Archaic spells. Ancient rules," Pickles says.

"Lily-Bella and Fintan will be in charge of decorations. Remember what I said, Lily-Bella."

"No pink." Lily-Bella nods her head.

"Good. And Fintan, remember, lots of pyrotechnics, but let's try not to blow up anything, or anyone, important."

Fintan frowns. "I'll try," he says. "But I can't promise. Sometimes when I'm around, stuff explodes."

"I have the utmost confidence in you, old chap. Now, let's see. Oh, yes. The haunted house. Originally Pierce was going to organize it, as scaring people to death is more in the vampire sphere of expertise, but, well ..." He looks at me. "Sorry, Wave."

"It's okay," I croak, a little lump building in my throat.

"Can you and Pickles be in charge of the haunted house?"

"Sure," I say.

"Yeah," Pickles says, but she looks at me nervously.

"It's okay, Pickles. I've been to the haunted house at the pier a hundred times. We'll figure it out together."