Mermaids And The Vampires Who Love Them

7. MATH SUCKS; SO DO VAMPIRES

The fountain in the courtyard gurgles softly at me as I sit on the cold marble rim and open the envelope Headmaster Crumpet gave me. I think it's asking me for more blood. "Next time I injure myself, I'll give you some," I promise. I'm lying. Again. But since the fountain is so far the best friend I have at this school, I don't want us getting off on the wrong 'foot.'

My heart races as I unfold my class schedule and read—

First Semester Classes - Waverly Marie Fishwater:

Daily:

1. Math is Cool! - Professor Gil Fishwater

'Math is Cool!'? Come on, Dad. Does he really think anyone is buying this course name?

2. Interspecies Bio, Blood and Reproduction - Headmaster Crumpet

We get to learn about sex from a professor who looks like he's twelve and also study blood in a room full of vampires? I wonder if there's any way to switch classes. I'd rather study the history of sand than biology.

3. Lunar Psychology - Professor Skender Woolfson

Sounds fascinating actually. Werewolves and the moon. Wow!

4. Lunch

Usually, lunch is the highlight of the day, except that we have to eat in a cafeteria that serves blood. Urgh! Maybe we can take our food outside.

5. Study Hall

Yay, time for homework! My favorite thing ever.

When the planets align, and Gaia is in the mood:

6. Life Drawing and Sculpting - Professor Glorious Goddess Gaia

I'm not the greatest artist, but maybe I can convince the Goddess to add underwater basket-weaving to the curriculum so I can get an A on at least one assignment.

And on full moons:

7. Enchanted Dance - Fairy Princess Iridessa

Fairy Dance sounds ominous. Mermaids aren't the greatest dancers in the world. We can't help it that we don't have legs most of the time.

All in all, the schedule could be worse. I could have seven periods of math! I try to look on the bright side.

And speaking of the bright side: thinking about my upcoming classes has kept me from obsessing too much about Pierce and Shelly taking off arm-in-arm to discuss bed options.

Okay, that's a lie.

I'm totally obsessing.

Look, I know I should be happy. Maybe Pierce will drain Shelly's delicious mermaid blood and not mine. Staying alive is a definite plus. And deep down, I know I'm acting ridiculous. I just met the vampire, after all. And he's so annoying with his blood-lust, arrogant smirk, pointy fangs, and embarrassing mind-reading. Plus, he lied to me about being able to fly!

I wish Pierce and Shelly all the happiness.

Honestly, I do—

—Not.

Ugh! Waverly Marie Fishwater, get a grip!

With an angry sigh, I close my eyes and lie down at the fountain's edge, allowing the sun to beat down on my legs. After a while, the sound of the waves crashing from far below the school beckons me, and I long to feel the cool water on my tail. But before I can get up, something blocks out the sun, and I open my eyes. "Aargh," I cry, bolting up to a sitting position.