brave//5SOS

41

Calum

"There are thousands of other kids who need to treatment,"

"And she is one of them," I argued, clenching my fists under the desk as I faced the head of her course at the hospital. Michael looked over sadly.

"Her health isn't improving. I'm sorry, we can't waste our materials on her,"

"It's not wasting. She is alive and she is a human who deserves the chance to live. Don't you dare call trying to save Emily, wasting materials,"

"Doesn't it take a few months to kick in?" Michael asked calmly, already knowing the answer was no.

"Look, this is the third time she's had cancer. There's a low chance she is gonna live and if she does then it's gonna be hell for her. We have to take into account that someone healthier would benefit from it more,"

"Who's saying she won't survive,"

"Dr.Hood, you've seen the test results. You've seen the scans and you've seen her the past two treatments... I know how much she means to you but we can't. We just can't," she sighed, looking between us.

"Ok. We understand, thankyou for letting her continue it at home and for taking up your time to talk to us," Michael said, standing up and shaking her hand. I nodded and quickly shook her hand, getting out the room as quickly as possible.

Then I broke.

My sobs echoed down the empty hallway and I fell to the chilling floor. I leant my head towards my knees and tightly pulled my hair- I didn't know what else to do. Michael lowered to the floor too, a couple of tears streaming down his face.

"I cannot fucking lose her Michael,"

He put his arm round me, both of us using each other's shoulders as support.

I didn't know how the girl did it. I didn't know how she coped so well, because I knew that she knew. Of course she knew, she could feel it.

Suddenly, any advice I'd ever given seemed useless. Michael was the best to me, telling me to take deep breaths, but my chest had a mind its own.

You can't be calm. You can't be okay. You can't relax.

"We just, we have to act normal for her. She knows she has limited time left but she seems to be the one coping best,"

Experience does that to you.

"I love her so much,"

"We just have to show that to her while we can,"

Emily

"How did you go and get another plate full?" I asked, walking out the lift. I couldn't even tackle the stairs if I'd wanted to.

"I dunno but I wouldn't recommend it," he groaned, letting us in the room.

I flopped onto my bed like a starfish and closed my eyes. A few moments later, the door burst open and a very distressed Calum entered.

"Hey," he breathed out, "I'm going for a shower,"

I didn't get a word in before he locked the bathroom door. Michael rolled me over so he could fit on the bed then cuddled me.

"I love you, I love you, I love youuu," he sang, kissing my head and holding me tightly.

"That's nice,"

"Heyyy," he frowned, closing his eyes and relaxing on the bed.

"You know I love you too," I mumbled.

A smile returned to his face and he squeezed my shoulders gently. Luke came behind Michael and hugged him, repeating the "love you's".

"I thought you loved Sierra," I teased, fiddling with the rings in his fingers.

"Shhhhh, that was our secret!"

"Oops,"

The shower stopped and we all turned to silence again, Luke sitting up. I looked up at Michael, hoping for some answers.

"He's just a bit upset because he's really passionate about something he's fighting for and he keeps getting shut down,"

"You mean carrying on my treatment," I murmured. Why did that always try to keep things from me?

"Yeah... when we get back home, we need a long talk together,"

"We don't need anymore long talks. I already know what will happen... I'm gonna die. I'm gonna be really sick and just like my mum,"

The bathroom door opened and Calum slipped out, a towel wrapped round his waist. I turned round so he could change, wishing he'd just speak to me.

However, when he got in bed and pulled the cover over his head, I knew to leave him alone. Everyone had a lot of thinking to do.

We didn't leave our room at all again, Luke ordering room service to eat. It was the only time Calum actually moved; I'd never seen him so upset.

And it was over me.

Stupidly, we chose to put on a horror film while we ate; I was terrified but Michael was convinced I'd love it.

"Turn it off,"

"No! This is a good film," Michael laughed.

"Just cuddle with me," Luke said, pulling me to his chest.

"Nooooo,"

"Emily,"

Everyone stopped and turned towards Calum- he hadn't spoken all day.

"Come and cuddle with me,"

I climbed out the bed and went round to him, slipping under the duvet. He looked a mess. His eyes were puffy, his hair looked like he'd ran through a bush and all the colour had drained from his face.

"How are you?"

"I think I'm the one who should be asking that," I mumbled, looking up at him. He avoided my eye contact and wrapped his arms round me, gently rubbing my back.

"I just-it's-I don't know... I've tried so hard Emily," he whispered, tearing up again.

"You've done everything you can, there's no point crying over things we can't change I guess,"

"Stop going all Michael on me," he chuckled, "you don't have to pretend to be strong,"

"I'm not. Thankyou for trying,"

I let my head hit his chest and pulled the duvet up, trying to block out the sound of the film.

"We can't give up,"