Matija Škrlec
August 17. 1973. The day that I was born. I was given the name of Hendrix Jackson. I was the youngest at the time. At that time I lived with my mother, father, two brothers and a sister. Ever since I could remember I hated that slut. Fucking bitch. The Jackson family consisted of Adam, the father, Sarah, the mother, Jack and John, brothers and my bitch sister Alex. Fuck her seriously.
Skip to my second birthday. August 17. and the year was 1975. I know its a shocker. It was the time that my family made me pick our apples from our little farm on our land. We lived in a mansion that we spent all our money on so we were pretty poor from that. We had the best apples in Kentucky.
Green, good old Granny Smiths. My bitch ass sister never wanted to pick them up so I being 2 had to pick them all up.
It was 1975. that my parents decided that one sister wasn’t enough so I got two more sisters.
Mariana and Luisiana. Luisiana after died from tuberculosis like a year afterwards. I didn’t care about her anyways. Mariana and Alex were enough anyways.
I went to a public school 5 years later. I was always considered a weird kid. Mostly due to me having ‘’Uber Braids’’ which were later renamed Dreadlocks by the kids. I never liked school. My only friend there was Tim Davis. He was a little asshole but way less assholey than other kids in my school. I really hated everyone. It wasn’t until high school until I earned my nickname Hand Dicks. Which was a play of word with my name. I seriously didn’t like that. Or the school. Or anything, I dropped off. Tim did too afterwards.
My parents died from a common cold about a year afterwards. So my brothers, sisters and I had to live with some gay religious happy go preppy asshole family. They wanted to make me go back to school. But I really didn’t want to
‘’Hendrix God will in fact punish you if you do not go to school, thats a sin, you will burn in hell for like forever’’ said my ‘’mom’’.
‘’Fuck you’’ I replied ‘’You’re not my real mom, you bitch’’
‘’Oh yeah!?’’ she asked and yelled at the same time
‘’OY! I did not harvest apples for life to get yelled at by some religious asshole!!’’ I replied with anger
‘’You’re 15!!!’’ She said
‘’So what, my body I do what I want!’’ I would always say
Until of course white chicks picked that up from me.
I always had fights with my new parents, they were pretty gay.
I found a sheep on the street once. Until it barked few weeks later and I found out its a dog. No wonder it had diarrhea after I fed it grass.
We called it Luisia. She was a great dog.
I ran away from home when I was 17, I tried to bring my brother John with me, but he slipped when we jumped out of the window and broke his neck so I brang Luisa.
We found a cheap apartment near the medieval McDonalds. It was 5$ for a day. But they forgot I lived there so I didn’t have to pay after about a week. At that time I worked at the medieval McDonalds. That is until I got a good idea for a new fast food thing restaurant. I wanted to call it Kentucky Fried Chicken, it sounded perfect, I told my friend Harland Sanders about this idea. He was pleased. KFC was going well until we ran out of chickens so we had to use anything we found on the ground. I stopped working there for reasons.
I found my dog very beautiful so I tried to bring it to a beauty contest. The guy told me they don’t accept sheeps so we had an epic fight behind the place they had beauty contests,
‘’Ill smash your head in’’ He said before I smashed his head in.
‘’Bitch the fuck did you say I was the MLG wrestler before I smashed way more heads than your gay little T Rex hands I will be surprised if you can even lift those things you fat fatty fatass prep mother fucking gay little guy dick face cunt square head mother fucker you wanna go right now I will fucking rip your lower jaw off with my pinky finger mom humper fag bitch lets go right now throw the punch’’ I yelled at him ready to smack a bitch
He tried to hit me but his fat threw him to the ground where I smashed his teeth in and he couldn’t walk anymore. Actually I think he died
Yeah I’m pretty sure he died.
I was about 20 at that time. It was considered pretty old then.
It was about this time that me and Tim (My friend form school) formed a great band called the Beatles that we later left because it was pretty gay at the time.
1987. found my first lover. Amanda Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelychevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenwanderersteerdemenschderrassumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum. She was really great and beautiful. We got married when she turned 10. It was a happy mariage. Until… she overdosed on lip gloss. I always told her
‘’Damn it Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelychevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenwanderersteerdemenschderrassumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum lipstick is not made to eat it!!!’’
‘’But it tastes so uber cool’’ she would always say
After a few punches she would stop for few days
She always considered me aggressive but then I would show her I’m not by attempting to choke her on the closest wall
I never liked going to the graveyard, the though of going there and reading that beautiful name…
It was one of my biggest fears to go there and have to read that shit.
Summer. 1994. it was about this time that I found out I had a tapeworm in my stomach. It was a rather nice one, until it ended my life.
September. 11… 1999 is when I died.
You may be thinking how I remember this
You may think I am making this up
I’m not
It happened
Rip. Hendrix Jackson. August 17, 1973 - September 11. 1999. You will always be loved
‘’E=MC^2’’ -Hendrix
