A CONDOM IN MY WALLET

Rochester, New York. 2012

“Ashes, listen this is New York. World demands we provide. Everything have a system. This is business. I hired you, like you there are hundreds of losers, you got me huh!! . We want discrete creations from fucked up, directionless, aimless humans like you. I read your blogs and you are here.  World  demands such thoughts. Poems, Stories, songs that possess huge meaning of nothingness through thoughtful mind which literally attracts attention to youth for just killing the time is what our goal is. The feedback we get from readers is impressive that is why my magazine is still running since its inception on 2008. I have provided you cash, a flat, a car and drinks on just 4 lyrics of stories for your last year. It’s 2012 now what happened to you Ashes why is your mind so stainless?” screamed my bruised up Boss at me like he has had no sexual experience since he attained adulthood.

“Sir, you are not yet recovered so do I. Your bruises are still fresh” I responded and left his chamber. Leaving him with a confused expression.

It was already 6 of evening when I entered my single-room flat, undressed to boxers and noticed Patzy sleeping half naked on my bed. I slipped inside blanket covering her too, with a beer and ash tray, playing with her blonde hair and thought of.......

Kolkata 31st December  2009, Rabindra Sarovar Metro.

“Hey Praveen, today is going to be a big day. I wish your flat will be empty by midnight. I don’t want to end up in hospital this time too.” I said while managing to pass a pack of condom in his jeans pocket.

”Hey, you're  becoming fuckin' smart huh!! thanks for it man.” Praveen cheered.

“You welcome your dad, you have got a bright father. I found these on his table’s drawer.” I responded and noticed the old uncle probably the oldest one inside this metro compartment standing adjacent to me heard what I said. His weird expression stated so. Fuck it , I am 18 and it’s 21st century he must have thought, wish if I had that rubber during my days.

DOWNTOWN 95 Disc, Park Street

Myself and Praveen entered into the night club passing through the huge bouncers nervously, me with specially aching back as Praveen hit me because of my bravery with that Condom incident. I got a tattoo  of a rocket shaped logo on my neck while entering, “Holy Cow!!!  Could you believe Ashes is this Kolkata??” Praveen reacted realizing it's a different world inside the disc so I nodded in ecstasy.

Ordered rich drinks of what I am not used to knowing today  the flow of cash needs to be consistent, so notes were in plenty but still worried of running out of papers indeed. I wanna love you of Akon from DJ Jack who is specially hired for today has just bounced up the floor in addition to the lots of hotties. Flattered two mini skirts. Had lots of drinks and dance. Richa and Sammy becomes good friends to both of us. There is no hell better way to welcome a new year than this. I really wanted to check out Sammy, had pretty hot moves with her on the floor with which she has just mesmerized me. 

Its past 3 of midnight we four walking through empty footpath across the street, as far as I concern we are heading towards Praveen’s apartment. Saw poor street people laying on footpath, covered themselves with dirty blankets, this is how they celebrated the first hours of new year suddenly a kiss on my chick from Sammy took me back to where I should concentrate and we were walking, slanging, hugging, smoking, we felt like we know each other since years. After I guess about some 20 minutes of walk I realised that we have lost our way but our katzenjammer did  got over not due to we lost our way but we saw three strange men with helmets on  obturated our girls Richa and Sammy.

“What do you guys want, please leave and take this locket and purse. Please don’t hurt us” Richa said panicking. While the two girls were busy passing their valuable things to one of the men, remaining two got hold of me and Praveen from back. “Hey losers, your bitches must hand over everything they possess or you guys can provide us things” one of the men said.“Take our wallets and phones too” I said and chocked. They took my wallet and Praveen’s then uttered unfolding it “These girls have some thousands of cash but you two gays have nothing except credit cards and Ids, wait what’s that ‘Condoms’ Ooooooo see bro this kids gonna have fun tonight but alas we ruined it all!!!!” one of the robber said as all three cried out in laughter.

Their evil laughter soon faded into the dark passages of the lane, saw Richa and Sammy infront of us . “You bastard fellas, thank god those men were here or we would have lost plenty of more things tonight.” Sammy averred at me.

“What are you saying Sammy  I don’t understand” I replied.

Saw Richa kicked Praveen on his balls as he crawled himself to the street. My eyes returned to Sammy then she said “Girls should never trust boys, what those condoms were doing in your wallet huh!!! You son of a ..... take this now” She said and did. I see them leaving us with our head spinning.

When we both recovered and began walking I heard sound of motorbikes. Turned back and shocked to see those two bitches sitting back of those riders, threw our empty wallets on our face and vanished at lightning speed, fucking robbers!!!!!

As we walked with steady inward ladies steps with chafe in abdomen.... realized what a tragedy we just have been through tonight Oh!!! God!  Why does it has to be on a New Year's Night!!!. Guess not just we two, there were many out there who spotted that we visited disc for the first time.

It's ain't that easy to be an adult!! so it is to get laid!! at least in India