Zacky and the Lawyer - An Avenged Sevenfold Story

Chapter 8: Perception

After my conversation with Matt, things on the tour went mostly back to normal. He stopped looking at me like anything was unusual when Zack was around, and even Val's looks became less frequent. Not having to worry about anyone else in the band catching their expressions came as a huge relief to me.

While my feelings for Zack never subsided, I was able to put them on the metaphorical back burner as I settled back into a routine. I did legal work during the day, wrapping up loose ends for our upcoming court appearance as well as I could, and watched the show or helped out with the kids at night. I still spent quite a lot of time with Tennessee, especially when the band had days off from shows, and even watched a couple more movies with him and Zack in their hotel rooms. It was a lot easier to just enjoy these interactions, and take them for what they were, when no one else was making a big deal out of them.

Now, it would be a lie to say I'd flipped a magical switch and stopped noticing that Zack was incredibly attractive, or talented, or caring-those things would probably never go away-but I had regained my ability to act like a normal, semi-professional human being around him. I was back in control. And, for a self-professed control freak, that felt pretty damn good.

Matt didn't completely give up on the situation immediately, though. Every so often, after he'd seen me talking with Zack or playing with Tennessee, he'd pull me aside to remind me that it'd be okay if something happened. And while I appreciated the reassurance, I still had no plans to pursue the guitarist. I was firmly in camp "Assume-that-it's-not-gonna-happen-unless-he-makes-a-move-first."

And so we rolled on down the highways, going from city to city and state to state, checking shows off the list and blitzing through the second half of the tour. It was when we only had a couple of weeks left on the road that things really got interesting again.

I was on the bus with Val and the boys one night, trying to help get everyone ready for bedtime. It was already nine o'clock, and the band was off playing a show. Val was tucking River in, and I was trying to do the same with Tennessee, but was being met with some resistance.

"Will Dad be able to read to me tonight?" he asked, looking up at me curiously. I was crouched next to his bed, blankets in my hands, and shook my head apologetically.

"Not tonight, buddy. I'm sorry. He's at work, and he won't be back until really late."

Tennessee looked sad for a moment, then perked back up, sitting up in bed. "I'm not sleepy. We can wait for him!"

I laughed softly, and shook my head again. "I don't think so, bud. Your dad's not gonna be happy if you stay up so late. That's way past your normal bedtime." It was true that the kids stayed up to see the show on some nights, but they always ended up tired and cranky the next day. For the sake of all the adults on tour, we stuck to an earlier bedtime whenever possible.

Tennessee pounded on the sheets with his tiny hands. "But I'm not sleepy!" he insisted. "I can't go to sleep. Can we stay up longer? Pleeeease?"

I looked him in the eyes, and saw a surprising amount of determination there. Finally, I relented. "Okay, we can stay up for now. But if you start getting sleepy, you have to tell me. Promise?"

The little boy nodded happily. "Promise!"

I chuckled. "Alright, come on, then." I helped him pull back the covers and get down from the bunk, and we went back into the bus's main living area. I had no intention of actually letting Tennessee stay up very late, but he seemed to be feeling persistent that night. After a half hour of reading or games, I figured, he should be yawning and ready to go back to bed.

I said goodnight to Val and her kids, and she shut the door to the bunk area so that we wouldn't keep them up. "We have to be quiet now, okay?" I whispered to Tennessee, pointing to the door. "Aunt Val, River, and Cash are all sleeping. We don't want to wake them up."