A Court of Fire and Mountains

Chapter 7

Nesta

As much as she tried to deny it, Nesta loved the mountains. Especially when there is no one for as far as the eye can see, and all you can hear is the empty heartbeat of nothingness. She insisted on Cassian to stop flying slightly away from their mystery destination, so they might walk the last leg of the journey. They did, and she didn't mind the bite of cold on her nose, nor the sting of the wind on her fingers as they trekked across the mountain.

They came to a sheltered valley between two peaks, and Cassian stopped. Nesta bumped into his back, lost in a daze which almost sent them both almost tumbling off the cliff and into... Cassian pointed at their final target, thirty feet below them. A lake. It was so still it resembled a mirror, reflecting their distant faces, and so clear Nesta could see the pebbles at the bottom shimmering like crystals. It was so beautiful it took Nesta a second to realise what it really was. A lake, but also a beast, waiting to envelop its next victim. A monster so when you have fully submerged the surface of the water becomes a wall, forcing you to submit and stay trapped in the it's endless depths. She cleared her throat.

"Can we take a break?" Her voice came out as she needed it to, stern and sure. It was a shame her insides were the opposite. Cass nodded and flopped onto the floor, dangling his legs over the precipice. The sight of it had Nesta's stomach lurching, but she did the same anyway. He passed her a bottle of water and she tipped her head back, eyes squeezed shut.

Cassian

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Cassian reached into his pack, smirking. "Just a little something for your special day..." He offered Nesta a small oblong package. She took it and pulled off the wrapping. Cassian's chest swelled with pride as her worrying frown turned into a grudging smile.

"Ribbons?" She asked suspiciously, holding a fistful of colourful decorations in her slender hands.

"I thought your hair needed a little sprucing up," Cassian grinned. He could almost feel the amusement rolling off her in waves.

"Fair enough," Nesta said. "But you know, I think this one suits you." She showed him a bright yellow one with crimson polka dots. Cassian admired it jokingly.

"I'd be honoured to wear that in my hair." He turned his head back to the view as Nesta fiddled with her hair beside him. She let her hair hang loose for a moment and Cassian had to fight not to stare at the waves of dirty gold that framed her face. The sun seemed to make it glow, but as she weaved bright ribbons into her braids the sun wasn't needed, for her smile lit up the mountains all around. When she was done she turned to him, and her smile turned impish.

"It's your turn now." Nesta knelt behind Cassian, positioning herself between his wings, and pulled his leather band out of his hair. Cassian felt her deft fingers begin to work out the knots.

"Do you ever use a brush?" she asked incredulously. Cassian fought not to wince as his hair was pulled into a tight braid.

"Can you can try and make my hair still look prettily masculine..." Cassian whined, fearing the worst.

"Aw, is the general's masculinity being challenged?" Nesta crooned in his ear. Cassian fought off a shiver. He wondered if she had any idea the way her breath brushing his ear affected him.

"No! 'Course not! It's just..." He followed the little braid along the curve of his head. "Actually, I quite like it." He tried to turn to face her but she yanked his head back into position.

"I'm not done." Nesta collected the rest of his hair, along with the little braid, into a bun and used another ribbon to tie it up. "There." She sat back on her haunches as he moved away from the ledge to face her.

"I'll trust that it looks amazing," Cassian said pompously, but inside his heart was beating a mile a minute. Nesta had managed to weave almost every one of his ribbons into her hair. She wore it in a loose plait down her back, flashes of colour and polka dots emerging and disappearing between the swathes of gold. The sight of it made Cassian hot and uncomfortable. "It must be time to move," He said, worried he might blush. He turned away to collect their things. "Let's go down to the lake."

Nesta

Every step closer to the lake brought Nesta closer to a mental breakdown. Or at least that's the way it would have been said in a book. One thing that kept impending doom at bay, however, was the echo of the feeling of Cassian's hair slipping through her fingers. She'd had to tug at it just to make sure it was real. She fiddled with his leather braid, which she'd forgot to give back but was too lost in her thoughts to return now. Maybe the lake wouldn't be so bad? She's managed to bathe all this time. A quick swim should be easy to endure. She glanced at the broad back and large wings in front of her. He was basically bouncing with excitement. She supposed today was just another day of her letting people down. They reached the valley and approached the lake. It was even more beautiful close-up. Despite the chilly wind, the sun shone on the water, making it glisten like jewels.

"It's the perfect day," Cassian whipped around to face her. She must have changed her facial expression too late because his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes filled with concern. "What's the matter?" He asked. "The water's warm, I promise." Nesta smiled weakly.

"It's not that. It's... it doesn't matter." She lowered her eyes in shame. She couldn't even open up to the person she felt closest to. She fought to find a sufficient lie instead. "I can't swim." That was only a little lie. Her swimming was not exactly award-worthy.

"I'll teach you. The perfect birthday present." Cassian put down his bag by the edge of the water. From here you could see the steam rising from the surface in waves. Cassian started to shed his clothes. Nesta averted her eyes until she heard a splash as he dived in. As she undid her boots a sense of dread started to build in her chest. She peeled off her socks and rolled up her leggings. She stood with the water lapping her ankles. A step further and the panic would overwhelm her.

The place would have been perfect. It was silent, apart from the sound of Cassian in the water. The mountains guarded it against the outside world, imposing yet impossibly serene. It was a shame Nesta had to ruin it. It was a shame she couldn't splash in the water, find the roundest pebble lying below the surface. It was a shame she couldn't reach Cassian, who was close, but Nesta would never reach him. It was a shame that instead of peaceful quiet, all she heard was her heart beating in her head.

The water was deliciously warm. Unlike the Cauldron, which froze your blood and stiffened your bones. So why couldn't she take another step? Her attention was drawn to the winged male approaching. He had the look of dreadful realization on his face.

"Nesta, I just realized - we can go somewhere else. I'm so sorry. I understand why you're afraid -"

Afraid.

That was why. She watched Cassian's mouth move, but no sound came out.

Nesta was always afraid.