melancholy - collection of poems

finding my happiness

I thought that it was my time to find happiness,

my time to finally end things the way I wanted to.

I thought I could finally be free to do what I want,

But that was far from the truth.

I thought I could finally be happy,

and be with the person who I wanted.

But I ended up thinking twice,

when all the memories came back, haunted.

I started to feel bad,

thinking no human should deserve this.

But then I thought again,

wasn't I doing this because of my happiness?

So I tried, again and again,

to explain why I needed to leave.

He said he loved me,

then I stood there in disbelief.

If he truly loved me,

he would let me be free.

But he wanted me to stay,

so that he wouldn't lose me.

I knew he wanted me to stay,

because he just wanted someone.

But I knew what I had to do,

and I knew it had to be done.

After a couple tries and a ton of support,

he finally gave in and started to play cool.

But all of a sudden,

he said he was going to transfer to another school.

This broke my heart as I didn't want him out of my life,

and the thought hurt me so much like a stab with a knife.

I wanted him to stay, even if he wasn't mine,

but I thought transferring schools was out of the line.

He wasn't planning to tell me,

if I didn't want to leave.

He said he might never come back,

this was something I didn't want to believe.

I couldn't believe he was telling me this now,

trying to make me feel bad.

He thought if he said that,

I would be sad and come back. 

I remembered all the times,

he lied and kept things behind my back.

I knew it was time,

for a bad payback.

I realised all of this was toxic,

the way I was treated.

I really didn't want,

my past to be repeated.

So I made my final decision,

to leave for good.

It was time to find someone,

who can treat me the way I should.

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A/N: as usual.....this is a true story ugh I keep getting heartbroken wtf is wrong with me.

k bye lovelies.