Day 1
So...um, I'm not really sure what to write in here. Nothing ever happens to me...ever. I guess I'll just write about my life and see what comes from that.
Day 2
I started school today. Shitty, I know. But there's this new kid who sits next to me in English and he's really cute. I mean, really cute. He seemed like he was trying to press himself into the wall and disappear, though. I know the feeling. I've done the same thing. I kind of forget his name though. I think I may have accidentally spent the entire period staring at him. Oops.
Day 14
He asked me out today!!! We have a date Saturday, and I'm really excited, but also kind of nervous. What should I wear? How should I do my hair? Ouch...I've been grinning so widely since he asked me out after school that my cheeks are hurting. He walked up to me by my locker and kind of stood there for a second, rocking back and forth on his heels and staring at his feet. I was pretty sure he was going to ask me about the English homework, but then he cleared his throat and asked me if I wanted to grab fro-yo with him on Saturday. I didn't say anything at first because I couldn't believe my luck, so he started walking away with his head down and his hands in his pockets. I had to call after him, but he didn't turn around, and then I ran into him and he stopped so suddenly I accidentally tackled him and we were kind of sprawled in the middle of the hallway. Looking back on it I realize that it should have been embarrasing, it really should have...but I just gasped out "yes" and he grinned. You know, that grin that pushes his cheeks out to make way for the smile that lights up my whole world? Yeah. I mean, I could have done without the whole waxing poetic, but for god's sake it's HIM.
Day 17
The date went well. I mean, really well. Oh god...Why can't every day be like this? As far as all my dates go, this one completely outshined the rest. We got fro-yo, and even spoon-fed eachother. I literally have no words. I just can't wait for the next one!
Day 1095
He proposed to me! The wedding's going to be in a few months, and we haven't quite worked out the details yet (details as in telling our families and all of the other finance concerns) but it's happening! I was asleep, and he woke me up. I can be a morning person if I get woken up the right way, and of course he knows how to do it. I was surprised he was up, to be honest. He's less of a morning person than I am. He tied a blindfold around my eyes before kissing me to wake me up. I'll admit, I freaked out a bit until he reassured me that it was him, and that the blindfold was necessary. One could hope for some kinky morning sex, but that wasn't happening so I just got up and followed him as he led me by my hand. He sat me down outside, then I heard his voice coming from the speaker to take the blindfold off. I took it off, and Shane had set up a huge screen in our backyard. He had cut together a ton of our old YouTube videos to document our time together. Once it ended he walked up behind me and proposed! We just spent the rest of the day lying in bed...the married life I guess!
Day I don't give a fuck any more.
I was told to write in this thing again. My therapist said it would help. But really it won't. I know it won't. I guess I should explain how.
Car crash. It's my fault, I was driving, I didn't look. In what fucking world is it fair that he was the one who didn't make it? Oh, and when.
A month after he proposed. One fucking month. We were going...actually, I don't even know where we were going. Bright lights and a loud horn. And screaming. Next thing I know it's the funeral and I have to speak, except I choke out a few words that really can't do his life justice and I sit down and cry.
He's gone, and I really don't see the point in living any more. So why bother?
End of entries
A/N So, so sorry for the long hiatus...this doesn't make up for it and I'll see if I can get more content out sometime soon.
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