Jasón was rubbing his head with his hands frantically just in front of the company he was fired from. It was the third time they fired him from a job and he was starting to loose his mind a little. True, in each and one of these jobs the hours were long, the money little and the bosses a bunch of inepts that made use of his work to look good without recognize him, but despite all, that didn't explain why he couldn't stop his behavior despite all his mental efforts.
All his life he was trained to make those kind of jobs and he was perfectly capable to do them but it didn't take long before he start to act weird, constantly missing for work, and make evident the incompetencies of his bosses with a sarcasm he knew he had it inside but he always repressed, until now.
It was like an external force posessing his acting and he couldn't be more than just a passive witness of his own detriment. Jason was rubbing more and more his head and some of his now ex partners was looking at him from the window of the building with pitty. It was raining and Jasón was the only one who didn't noticed until the sound of lighting made him react. Sighing he stood up and walked slowly to his car, and he began his driving leading nowhere.
All depressed him. The ads on the streets, the incesant sound of the raining crashing against the window, the sound of the engine, the emptiness on the sit beside him, the little sound of the directionals, everything. Then he couldn't anymore and parked. Turned on the stereo and it was playing the Rajnesh Simbava Meditation CD. He felt soothed by his voice, reclined his sit, exhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes to listen:
¿What would it feel like to drop all desire, just for a brief moment?
It is easy to detect the desires within oneself if you make an effort to watch them consciously borning between your eyebrows and then drop each and one of them like stones from your hands. To help us we can make use of the question ¿What if I no longer cared about this desire anymore? And then drop the desire like you were dropping a stone from your hand. Then make this meditation everyday, just twenty minutes a day and see what happens.
From the very first day you will feel more free and connected with reality, with the true time. The mind needs the desires to exist. But the desires are only fictions of the ego that substract you from the powerful vertical of the present. Everybody wants to be extraordinary, making the things they do, but always wishing being doing something else. You are making something and you feel like you are wasting your time, you'd wish to have a better position at your job or leading a nation. You did'nt born to make mundane and insignificant stuff. Fictions of the ego. The desire misprise the ordinary, but being ordinary is the most extraordinary thing there is because no one wants to be ordinary. Everybody wants to be extraordinary. Very rarely someone relaxes and becomes ordinary. So just relax and become completely ordinary, for at least twenty minutes a day and see what happens. You will discover that those things you considered meanningless stop being meanningless and becomes something divine.
Jasón dedicated a lot of his time on this meditation closing his eyes and visualizing all his desires and one by one he hit them with the question: ¿What if this didnt matter to me anymore?And it was true, he was feeling more present in the present, something he supposed was going to help him to improve his life. Then it ocurred to him that maybe this meditation was the cause of his misbehavior at his jobs.
Furious stopped the CD but he kept rubbing his eyes lids with his hands and sumerge on the total abandon of his wishes until he fell sleep. When he opened his eyes again the green light of the stereo said it was almost seven p.m. "She will be mad when she finds I'm out of a job again", he thought. He turned the light of the interior to comb his hair and get to his apartment as soon as possible. But when he faced the driving mirror he couldn't help get scared. He was shaved like a Mohawk. He looked at the lock of the doors and they were open. Surely someone made a joke on him while he was asleep. He then realized that on the sit of the copilot was a sheet of paper with some messages scrawled with a strange handwriting:
Everyday you are getting closer to one of two things only, the success or the failure
The time is not money, time is art.
Everyday without missing, the sun will rise and it will continue to rise again and again millions of times before you leave this body...
uninhibiting, opening
breathing, inhaling
live, die
enter, leave
thirteen ...
twenty
This thing was very weird to him and suddenly he discovered parked on a lonely street, so he started the engine and started driving. In each semaphore, Jasón was getting lost without any hope and the anguish of lack of money. He only had on his bank account enough to live according to the lifestyle he accustomed her. On this thoughts was Jasón when without realizing he was opening the door of his appartment three hours before the used time. When he reached the bedroom he saw her face becoming pale in the middle of her legs that were wide open pointing to the sky while some guy was making oral sex to her without noticing Jason.
Jasón without saying nothing started to clap. The guy turned frightened by the broken aspect of the mohican clapping with a menacing grin.
- "I'm sorry dude I didn't know"
Jasón made like he was going to punch him and this guy took his pants and leaved the scene stumbling all over the place. Then the eyes of Jasón fixed on hers who now was covering her body with the quilt.
-"Jasón, my love I'm sorry..."
Jasón's body was stirred by a spasm and suddenly started to laugh loudly. Jasón wasn't Jason anymore. She realized with shock that his eyes wasn't dark brown anymore, they were violets.
-"Jasón my love, are you alright?" But he didn't stop laughing- "Jasoncito..."
-"Shut up and get out of my place" In few minutes, she was pulled from the arm out of the appartment, but just before Jason closed the door he asked her "What city are we in?" She answered him and he closed the door in front of her nose. Jason's body got another spasm but this time he incorporated more alert and he looked around the place like he had never been there before.
-"At last the meditation is completed" - said sighing - "I have little time" He took his cellphone out of his pocket, dialed and started talking with a forgotten language. The intensity of his violet eyes was now stronger.
