If I Had You (Riren/Ereri) (Yaoi)

Chapter One

"father please stop!" I begged, my hands held in front of my face in a defensive manner.

"You little brat! Ungrateful swine!!! I work my ass off to keep you fed and this is how you repay me!?!? RUNNING AWAY!!!!!!" He threw a pot plant, narrowly missing my head before shattering against the wall.

I cowered into the corner, letting out continuous small sobs under my breath as I fought to keep myself upright, I thought of my mother, the last memories of her smile, her laugh. I even found myself missing the way we would argue, and all of a sudden I wasn't scared anymore... I was angry...

"As if I wouldn't run away!!! Bastard!!! Perverted sick and twisted! You're no better then a- THEN A DISEASE!!!"

That earned me another painful slap across the face.

For two years I had endured. Since my mother died not a month after my fifteenth birthday, I had suffered endless rape and beatings until I could barely move a single bone in my pathetic body, and for what? The naive hope that it might maybe someday get better? Why did I endure? Why was I alive? The whole world and myself would be much better off if I were to simply cease to exist.

But somehow I could never manage to give up, I always had to fight for my life. Fight for a purpose unknown to me since the day I was born but always present and always apparent.

So I uttered the last few words in my arsenal that might make a difference.

This could either end really badly or... it could end with my father in a sobbing weak mess.

" Mutter würde beim Anblick du weinst."
Mother would weep at the sight of you.

I caught the fury in his eyes and knew I had made a mistake.
This will end badly.

"You little shithead." He whispered. "Using your mother against me. Weep at the sight of me you say? WHAT ABOUT HER WRETCHED FAGGOT OF A SON HEY EREN!?!?!? The thought make her turn in her grave? EREN! Her only son is nothing more than a cock sucking, pussy who will never amount to anything!!! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN BORN!!!!" He threw a ragged, disorganised, yet forceful punch in my abdomen that sent me crashing into the wall on the other side of the room. I hissed as my hands and neck were cut on some shattered glass from a long forgotten bottle of whiskey but still managed to stand up into a hunched position.

"At least I'm not a drunken, pedophile with a thing for teenage boys." I whispered. "I was fifteen dad, fifteen."

His eyes narrowed as he lifted me by my collar dragging me out the front door and throwing me onto the street.

"You wanted to run away? FINE! You can rot on the streets!!! Don't come crying back to me, dirty fag!!!" He slammed the door and left me alone in the cool night air.

"If I'm a faggot what does that make you?" I whispered under my breath. "You're a straight man who stole a young man's ass virginity, your own son's no less. Rotten, defiled and impure. Disgusting dog without a trace of your humanity left." I sighed.

It felt good to say those things even though I was sure he wouldn't hear them.

We used to be such a happy family, but Mother's car accident pushed him off the deep end and he started drinking, drinking, drinking. It got out of control, we were dirt poor and neither of us had the motivation to do much of anything. He seemed to have plenty of energy when it came to me though...

I stumbled to my feet and began to walk, surely waiting out the front of the house where that... Man lived wasn't the smartest idea. I had to find some shelter.

Pretty soon however it all became too much and I collapsed beneath a tree of a nearby park.

My eyes were getting heavy, the exhaustion of the night's events finally catching up with me.

The world around me seemed to fade at the corners...

"Hey brat! What's your problem? You okay?"

Huh?

And then everything went black.