Solo ((Death Note: one-shot))

Solo

Solo,

They left us this time, after all the moments they stepped out the door in the past they came back. This time however, they really are gone. All the broken promises, and that false hope it was all just a thin tangible thread I was grasping for all along. They are not coming back this time, no matter how many silent prayers I make. Quietly I loose it, my sensible resolve cracks leaving me bruised and beaten,

"They can't come back" I tell him. Beside me Near dumps his puzzle onto the floor and carelessly tosses the board across the room. On the screen in front of us an image of Matt's lifeless body drains of blood due to the many inflicted bullet wounds. The next scenario shows a burning hollow structure, that was Mello's death. Burning after simply following orders,

"They should have never left" I whisper. At my sides my fingers curl into fists and in a moment, a heated fraction of a second the anger spills out. My hands slam against the floor,

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid, idiots!" I scream, because it hurts, because I'll never ever see them again,  because it's wrong that they're gone and that nothing  I can do will ever bring them back.

"You took them away! Why did you take them?" I gulp and shove my hair out of my face,

"Who are you screaming at?" Near asks nonchalantly twirling a pale strand of hair around his finger. I think about it for a minuet and un-weave the rosary around my neck. It was Mello's parting gift to me when he left. 

' "You're coming back right?" Mello stared down at me, his blond hair fell into his eyes, despite this I could still see the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Always" he promised ruffling my hair and kneeling down to me on the floor,  his hands reached around his neck removing his necklace and clasping it around mine.

"Mello, I can't take this" his smile was gone now and I still could not see his eyes

"Please, keep it to make sure I come back" he choked. Silently I nodded my arms wrapped around his shoulder's and I pressed my head into the crook of his neck. He smelled like worn leather and oil, but something else was there something sweeter and all the  more gentle. As I hugged him for the last time he did something he had never done since I was three. Mello hugged me back, long and hard he didn't let go until Matt pried me from his arms.

"Bye Baby!" Matt called to me carelessly, I grasped his hand and pulled him into an embrace, he melted beneath my heated touch.

"Oh, Iris, I'm sorry" he told me, I instantly broke away from him and shoved against his chest

"Don't say that!" I cried reluctant to think about what he was actually trying to apologize for,

"You're coming back!" I pulled them both into a weak hug.

"You're coming back, you can't leave me here" I sobbed into their shoulder's,

"I love you" I murmured into both of their ears and then I let them go, I let the men that took care of me my whole life go.'

I let my brothers go, I should have held on a little longer. I should have never let them leave again. Now I have nothing but the lingering scent of chocolate that still wafers from the shirt I had stolen and the socks that are far to large for my tiny feet.

"God, I'm screaming at God," I can feel Near's onyx eyes watching me as I stand and begin to leave the room, when suddenly. Tiny cold fingers wrap around my hand and I tilt my head to look at Near. His head is downcast  when I see it, just like Mello never showing affection and Matt never showing anger, Near never shows fear. But I see it now as his body quivers violently, the thin trail a tear causes as it stream down his face.

"You know I do not believe in any of that" he mutters, I take his hand in mine, lifting him up off the floor and into my arms. My hand entwines in his soft curls and his thin arms cling to me needing someone other than himself for once. I carry him outside onto the front steps where I sit and place him on my lap,

"I know, I know you don't"

L left us first, and although none of us would have ever admitted it, we each felt as if he was our father. All the long nights we would fall asleep in the floor beside him as he worked only to awake in our beds. The times we would wait until after all the other children left to speak to him over the internet when he would do video calls. He would laugh around us, cry, show us things that no one else knew he was even capable of. 

Mello left us after L, it came on the news first and we just new. His bike was leaning on a tree so it was not extremely difficult to know what had come of him. After L died I cried every night, Mello would sit beside my bed and let me hold his hand until my grip loosened and I had fallen asleep. When it was 'that time' and I wanted chocolate he would never hesitate to give me any.

Then there's Matt, no matter how I look at it now he could have prevented his death. I still cannot be angry at him though. I erased his game files so many times by accident and not once did he ever scream or shout like I knew he desperately wanted to. Every year for Christmas I was given a red stuffed bear from him, I still have all thirteen of them.

I smiled even though tears still spill from my eyes. They were our family, Near's and mine. With them gone we have nothing left but rooms that still smell like them and recordings of their voices. I think that is what I will miss the most, waking up to Mello shouting at Near for something far out of his control. Near begins to hiccup so I rock him back and forth in my arms.

"I know you don't, believe"