The perks of being a Desi

Prologue

Ok so let's say, you have been invited into or are "fortunate" enough to live in a desi household. Without a care in the world, you are prone to hearing these exact lines on loudspeaker In your home:

"Go make roti! You are always on phone tweeting on the Facebook." *speak in Pakistani/Indian accent* That is what my mum says; Typical Desi parents, innit?

Oh goodness me, where are my manners? (See what this girl is like; she hasn't even introduced us!)

Salam. Hello. Sasri kal. Hola. Bonjour.

This book is a collab with none other than the awesome:

@UmmTameem786

and

@Rusher4Evaaaa (moi).

My friend (Assalam guys!) will talk to you guys a bit later in this chapter.

So for now grab your popcorn and your parents and settle down to read this fantabulous book. This book will be a guide for your life. It is completely parent friendly so don't worry. Go on, I'll give you a minute to grab your parents. Or maybe an hour...

I totally understand.

You don't have to be Desi or a Pakistani or an Indian to read this book. If you just want to laugh your hijab off at other peoples' life (not naming anyone) that is totally fine by me! Haha jus' kiddin'!

This is just a fun way of giving you lovelies an insight of living in a Desi house. It will also give you advice on how to cope with Desi Aunties and Uncles coming over and asking you humiliating questions and pointing out things that are not meant to be pointed out! If you know what I mean. The majority of you will probably relate to most of the incidents that we will be mentioning and all of them have happened in real life situations.

Fatimah's the name and I am from a Desi household. My mum is from Pakistan where as my dad is from the UK and so am I. I have 4 younger brothers -you will hear me mentioning them a lot- and I am the oldest. I have no sisters :'( I know you're probably crying for me right now. I ask myself how I live with those idiots. The constant torture every single day and don't get me started on my parents scolding me for something that they did. That is another topic that we will talk to you guys about later. I am a Muslim and obviously I am a girl. That's probably it, right? So I'll shut my big mouth and hand it over to @UmmTameem786

Jizakallahukhayrun! And Assalamualaykum ya ikhwatees!

Unfortunately I am not as intriguing as the fabulous sister here (aww don't be silly babe ;) carry on) but in sha Allah I shall try and write what I can.

Oh yes, about this book! You see when you have those meaningless conversations about meaningless things, that's where meaningful things sprout from and by meaningful I mean the idea of this book.

Like let's be real, it's part of human nature to be fascinated by the lives of others; humans are just nosey carbon based life forms. And so this book shall hopefully spike up your curiosity.

I guess I will end up repeating everything my beloved sister has said so I guess I shall be quiet about the book it self!

As an author, I guess if you would like to know about me, plz check out my profile but based upon this book, I am desi! Yes yes! But of course I have Arab roots so I kind of don't belong here! But don't be fooled! I am more of a desi than a desi could ever be! Family wise, you name a desi trait and we have got it!

Just a quick note:

No desis were harmed in the making of this book.

Now let us begin to talk about this corrupt world! *speak in Desi accent*