CHAPTER ONE

665 24 18
                                    

word count, 2269
CHAPTER ONE: THE REASON

word count, 2269CHAPTER ONE: THE REASON

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

NINETEEN-FIFTY-SEVEN

WHILE YEARS ESCAPED through his quivering hands like water in open hands- each year would deliver the same date. It was one that would menace and plague his mind, one that haunted his mind even as he drowned in blissful dreams. A date that he would never forget. The day his father's plane crashed into the earth.

The anniversary of his father's untimely death.

Each year would hold the same date- and each year he would relapse the very same routine, one where he would go down to the most desolate pub in a desperate attempt to drink away his pain for the night. This was the meaningless lie that he told himself when he was approaching the same location, but like the year before and the year before that, he would suffer the night sober and alone much like his father would have.

James knew that his father would never have wanted his only son to drink his sanity away, so with a heavy heart he would while away the hours in his own personal silence. While within his solitude the light would flee the room until he was the only one remaining in the dark, compact space- the walls seemingly caving in, suffocating him until his lungs forgot the simple task of breathing.

Much like his father would have.

With an untouched drink placed carefully on the counter, he remained in his tortured comfort while the rest of the world remained in their imprisoned happiness, as happy as war torn families could have been.

The thought of going to war was prominent in the scattered mess of his mind, the idea of serving for his country always seemed to link together to form a perfect picture of what he wanted. Of what his father would have wanted for him, perhaps.

But there always seemed to be a reason as to savour another year, longing another year of solitude, of peace. He was often kept awake in this wonder, in a state of puzzlement- with his mother a shell of what she was all those years ago, he didn't particularly see any logical reason to stay.

But in a way, he always found his aspirations to be selfish and cruel. It was even harder when he knew that if he went off to war, there was a high chance that he would never return- leaving his hollow mother truly alone in the world.

She was a vacant, lost soul after her husband tumbled to the ground and never arose. But for a while it wasn't this way- she was near the same, simply hiding behind locked doors and paper walls to quieten her misery and pain. She managed a smile for a while, nursing her son through sleepless nights- but eventually she failed her smiles, and it was almost as if James had lost both his parents that very night. His mother had turned into a carcase, waiting for the day her lungs would fail her much like her smile had.

For a while, James would speak to her in a gentle tone, but some days he grew tired of her ways, tired of being the only person holding together their decaying relationship- resulting in him screaming at her to speak, to say something, to be his mother again. She would answer in a silence, never once flinching, and he found that that hurt more than any word that could have ever escaped her lips.

TILDA →  CONRADWhere stories live. Discover now