Goodbye, Evan

8

We walk down to the nearest bus stop (it takes twenty minutes) and catch one to get to the school instead of, I don't know, putting one of those three really nice cars to use and getting there a whole lot faster. Neither of us knows how to drive, but Georgia could've taken us. (If she didn't accidentally shut me out of the car first.)

Theo seems reluctant to partake in any open displays of richness, though, so bus it is. In hindsight, I don't really mind. The less time I have to spend in that goddam school the better. We take two seats at the back again and Theo yanks up his headphones, basically cutting me off from him. I press my forehead against the window (it rattles my skull, but I'm mostly just glad I currently have a skull that can be rattled) and watch the world pass by, my eyes hungrily taking in how much goddam life there is.

Birds sing, cats dart into bushes, dogs tug on leads, children hold their parents' hands, teens chatter and laugh and flirt and adults talk loudly into their phones. I hope that they're enjoying it - the very state of being alive. I didn't until it was gone. I feel Thoe lean a little closer. His breath tickles the part of my neck that isn't covered by his shirt collar. He doesn't say anything - just watches the world with me. His hand is just touching mine (he had to shift it closer to stop himself from falling onto the floor) and I can feel his pulse in his thumb. He's so goddam alive.

For a moment, it makes me feel like I'm really living, too. "I don't even think you can make friends this late in secondary school," Thoe comments as we step off the bus, immediately losing ourselves in the crowd of students all wearing the exact same uniform. Shoulders bump against me; it's not recognition, but it's still something. "What year are you in?" "Eleven. I'm sixteen." I whistle. "How have you been at this school for five years and not made any friends?" When Thoe scowls, I add, "No offense. I just don't get it - you're pretty easy to get along with. When you're not pretending to be somebody you're not, that is."

"You really think I'm easy to get along with?" Theo asks. He looks genuinely surprised. "I mean, yeah." I raise my eyebrows at him. "I have to help you out whether I like it or not, but I don't exactly resent that I have to. So why?" "I'm probably the richest kid at this school," Theo mumbles as we head towards the entrance. The school looms over us, towering and teasing. I make sure to brush my hand against Thoe's. "And that's not a boast - I think it's just fact. My dad wanted to home-school me, but I knew I'd never learned about the real world if I stayed in that fucking house for the rest of my life. So I came here - his old school. He wasn't too happy about that, but it was the nearest one and he refused to drive me." I wonder to myself if I know Thoe's asshole father - then realize it's a stupid question because I only remember souls and I do my best to forget most of them anyway.

Don't get attached and all.

Theo looks over his shoulder and sighs. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this - I don't think I've ever told anyone. And I haven't even known you for an entire day." "Because it'll help me help you," I reply, knocking my shoulder against his in a way I hope is reassuring. "And I have one of those faces," I add, earning a small chuckle. "Carry on." He sighs. "I'll dump my books - then let's go somewhere more private. A form doesn't start for another half hour and I don't want to be around people any more than I have to." He sighs. "I'll dump my books - then let's go somewhere more private. A form doesn't start for another half hour and I don't want to be around people any more than I have to."

I want to ask him if he thinks I count as a person. Then, again, I remember it's a stupid question. The way my skin shines like polished glass in the early morning sunlight is answer enough. I follow him inside to his locker and realize, as he shoves his bag into it, that it's right next to the one that used to belong to me. I can't help but wonder if we'd be friends if I was born in this generation if we'd talk and laugh and poke fun and complain about teachers as we collected and put away our books.