Do Me A Favour | VerKwan One-Shot

Do Me A Favour

"I'm sorry."

The words sounded painfully empty, and painfully insincere. But he meant them, he truly did. With every piece of himself, he felt remorseful for the words that had been said, for the feelings he had bottled up within himself. He wished they had never been said at all, wished that they could simply turn back the clock. But even then, it wouldn't have changed a thing. It wouldn't have made things better, no matter how hard he liked to believe they would.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Seungkwan said dryly.

Hansol's head snapped up. Previously, he had his head pressed against the steering wheel, his eyes closed. Because at the core, he was too weak to look Seungkwan in the eye. Now, he was in high alert. He was facing Seungkwan, who was sitting beside him, his eyes wide open. He searched for a sign, any sign at all. How could Seungkwan say such a thing? He thought, biting his lower lip. But no matter how much he looked, it was no use as Seungkwan wasn't looking at him at all. He wasn't looking at anywhere besides out the window of his car. Seungkwan was holding himself, his arms intensely wrapped around his body. Hansol could only see the side of his face, a glimpse of Seungkwan's round cheeks. They were stained with tears.

Hansol hated himself even more.

He gulped and blinked, unsure of what to say to that. His mouth felt dry, and it tasted of metal. It was only then when he realized that he bit the inside of his cheek. "Of course it fucking matters," Hansol said quietly, his eyes falling and landing on the floor of his car.

He heard Seungkwan scoff in response, and his eyes jumped back to Seungkwan. He watched as the familiar chubby cheeks became a full face again, his eyes looking right at Hansol. It was as if he was piercing right into him, all the feelings of anger that had clearly been bottled up all targeted at Hansol. It made him a bit uneasy, and he hated to admit it. "No, it really fucking doesn't Hansol. Nothing matters anymore, so can I please just," Seungkwan closed his eyes and sucked in air, "go now?"

"No! Not until we talk about this, not until we make sure that we're okay. I just want-"

"What is there to talk about?" Seungkwan exclaimed, his patience running thin. "There's nothing to say. We're done, I get it." He sounded bitter, and Hansol could not blame him. Who wouldn't be? They had been dating for three years, a relationship born from high school and was delusional from the start. Despite that, both of them had truly believed they would last. It was a bummer to have been proven wrong. For both of them.

"We don't have to be done. Not totally, not really," Hansol argued weakly, his voice quiet.

Seungkwan scoffed and broke their eye contact, crossing his arms and staring straight ahead, shaking his head. "'Not really?' Don't lie to me, please. That's all I ask. For you to be honest, just once in your goddamn life be honest with me."

Hansol had to look away, Seubgkwan's comment burning him. He closed his eyes and placed his head against the steering wheel again. Without wanting to, he had begun to cry. He placed his head against the steering wheel, his tears wetting the leather cover. "I've been honest with you before," he said, sniffling, "and you know that. But lately," Hansol sighed, "I don't know. It's just been really hard, to be honest."

Seungkwan sighed, and as he looked up, from the corner of Hansol's eye, he could see him run a hand through his messy hair. "I know. I see it, Hansol. I can feel it. You haven't looked at me the same recently."

"What?"

Hansol asked, his voice sounding raspy. He sounded confused, but it wasn't because of what Seungkwan had said. No, he knew exactly what he was talking about. He was more confused Seungkwan had figured it out. He thought he had hidden it well, believed he had suppressed the signs so deep within himself he thought no one else could feel it. He had been wrong.