My Ranting Outlet

My Dad

I will start off talking about a VERY personel subject: My Father.

My Biological Father left my mother when I was 6 years old and has been addicted to drugs before that . My mother did not do drugs and did not care about my father doing the drugs , as long as he never did it around me and my brother . He would never be high around me and my brother. He was the best father I could ask for , for the first 6 years of my life . I loved him so much. Hewas also a good boyfriend to my mom. They never got married because my mother doesnt believe in marriage. They were together for 2 years then my mom had my brother at 18 and me at 21. He would always buy my mom flowers and presents. He would always play with me and my brother even when he was exhausted from working all day at a factory. It is literally making me so emotional talking about him. My father would actually hit my mother . ONLY when he was on drugs and you should remember that for later confessions. My father ended up cheating on my mom and that is when they split up. Not the drugs , but cheating. My mother was the love of his life. After the breakup he devoted all of his time to drugs . I was 6 years old and my brother was 11. My brother took it really hard even though he denies it. He used to get great grades but ever since my parents split up he got very bad grades and is hanging with the wrong crowd. I was taking it probably the worst . I had to grow up so fast. I got bullied because people thought it was funny my dad walked out on my family. I wouldn't talk to anyone and everyday I would cry at night hoping that my dad would come back. My mom would work from 3 to 11 at night at a retirement home for the mentally disabled people. My grandparents raised me and my brother for a good part of my life. They literally loved me and my brother like we were their own children. l know this may sound stupid but now that i'm older and i havent seen my dad for 8 years It is now hitting me that i dont have a dad.My mom never filed for child support because my mother is EXTREMELY stubborn and she thinks that she can support her own children by herself and she doesnt need a man. My mother was a mom and a dad to me. She is my mad. I will talk about her later because she deserves a whole story.

This is the ranting part. I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ME AND MY BROTHER AND MOM CAN BE HIS WHOLE WORLD BUT WE CAN DISSAPPEAR FROM HIS LIFE AND NOT BE AFFECTING HIM. HE IS THE ONE CHOOSING NOT TO SEE ME . HE DOES NOT REALIZE THAT HE HAS FUCKED UP MY LIFE AND MORE. I WOULD CRY AND THINK I DID SOMETHING WRONG OR I WAS A MISTAKE AND THATS WHY HE NEVER CAME TO SEE ME. I DONT EVEN BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE. He has seriously fucked up my life. what i just wrote is only half the story. I will write about him later because now I am crying and i have a headache now.

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