Haymitch Abernathy: The 50th Hunger Games (Un-edited)

2. This is goodbye

I am ushered into the Justice Building the minute reaping ends. It is difficult to take in the interior of the massive building as a pair of Peacekeepers rush me to a singlewide, wooden door. One of them opens it and stood to the side, having his fingers still curled around the knob. I enter ahead of them. One look at the room already makes me feel as if it's a whole other place.

The room is a few feet bigger than my bedroom with only a couch that sits in the middle. Even the couch being the only piece of furniture in the room it's just as memorable as if it were fully decorated. The carpet is shag that is a light peach color close to cream. The walls seem like there is a faint pattern of classy wood grain that's a light brown. The couch's trimming is a dark brown while the fabric itself, medium tint of beige. It's not so much that it is fancy, but just the color with the designing in the room is what makes it so unforgettable.

I walk inch by inch, turning my head back and forth still admiring the room until my legs hit the couch causing me to collapse onto it. I look up to find that the Peacekeepers never came in with me as I expected them to. There has always been rumors in the Seam about some of the kids trying to commit suicide, but if so, why is no one watching me now?

Just as I am about to get up to head towards the door my mom runs in with her arms stretched out to me. Before I even have time to do the same, she is already hugging me tightly and crying on my shoulder. I'm not prepared for this day to happen. It had never come to my mind what I would say to my family if I were to ever be a tribute. I pull her away from me by the shoulders so we are face to face. Her tears are gone instantly as she opens her mouth before I can begin to say anything.

"Promise me you will try! Promise me you will come back!" She raises her voice pleadingly. I wonder if every parent told their child this before they were shipped off to the capitol. Did they all lie by promising them that, they would indeed, come back?

"I promise I will try my best. I won't promise that I will come back." I don't want my mom getting her hopes up too much. If I don't make it back, it would only crush her more than me leaving already has. It would be impossible for me to lie to her when I know very well that winning was a very slim chance this year, definitely with it being the Quarter Quell. What I am about to tell her isn't going to just hurt her, but me also. I need to speak my mind though while I have the chance.

"Here's some advice, starting in the morning just act like I was never there. It will help when-"

"No." She cuts me off using a soft, warm tone that doesn't show her hurt. "Here's some advice, stay alive." It had not come out rude like it would normally be intended as. It is more truthful, simply stating what she wants and hopes for me to do.

A rustle by the door draws my attention. I look around my mom to see my brother looking at me blankly. I motioned with my hand for him to come here, watching as he lowers his head. Eventually walked to my mom and I. Just when he is in reach, I pull him in for a hug wanting not to leave him here without a brother. His body is stiff at first for a few seconds them begins to relax as he returns my embrace. Mom joins in, squeezing us while beginning to sob again.

"If only I was old enough to take your place. You're a bigger help around the house than I am." I can feel my brothers breathing get heavy when I start to stroke his hair.

"I would never let you volunteer for me and you help a lot. You just have to see that." The door to the room opens and one of the Peacekeepers come in to lead my family out. Our group hug brakes when mom lets go, taking a hold of my brother's hand. Confusion covers his face as his eyes widened with mouth open as if he wants to say something. Mom mouths 'We love you' and gives me a light smile before the Peacekeeper could block my view. Closing the door with a loud 'click'. All of this is too much to take in, in such a short amount of time. I sit onto the couch burying my head in my hands feeling raged and defeat all at once.

A creek makes me jump to my feet. As soon as I spot Raven closing the door behind her I relax. She stands by the door with her hands clasped together in front of her. Her medium, wavy, dark brown hair hiding most of her face away from me. I know we don't have long to see each other seeing how fast my mom and brother were pulled out of the room. I walk over to her, resting a hand in between her shoulder blades to lead her to the couch.

The moment we both sit down she wraps her arms around my waist. She buries her face into my lap while she begins to cry uncontrollably sounding like she has the hiccups. There are so many things I wish to say to her but I cant get any words to come out as I listen to Raven start mumbling. I pull her up acting like I know what she is saying and brush the hair out of her face. When our eyes meet she stops talking. Taking a deep uneven breathe she speaks with her eyes closed.

"You shouldn't have made me take some of your tesserae all those times. If it wasn't for me you-" Her voice cracks, body trembles, not being able to finish the sentence.

"That's not true. I don't want you to ever think like that. If anything I should have given you more." She opens her eyes as I watch her darker gray ones stare blindly at me. I don't want to tell her to have hope and to not be so troubled, but at the same time I cant bring myself to tell her that I am going to make it back. It would surely give her to much faith.

We sit there hand in hand not realizing how fast time has passed until one of the Peacekeepers comes in once again. I try to let go of her hand but she tightens her hold making my hand turn a shade whiter. The peacekeeper grabs her upper arms so he can lift her off the couch. Still she doesn't let go.

"I care about you, that's why I need you to trust me. Go." Tears slip down her face as she obeys. Releasing her grip, letting the man in uniform take her away from me.

* * * * * * * * * *

I have a few more visitors from people around town and school, but not much. The only people that are on my mind the whole time are the three people I love more than anything. After everyone leaves I am escorted out of the Justice building. I take a short ride down to the train station to board the train that will be taking my fellow tributes, mentor,Fae and I to the capital.

When I arrive at the train station, it already has become packed with camera crews and the citizens of District 12. My emotions leave me feeling empty and numb so I don't have to worry about crying and looking weak to all of Panem: especially all the other tributes. Its finally time to face the other three kids who will surely not be my friends in this nightmare.