The Twelve

Chapter Seven

I was back in reality. Or at least I wasn’t in that memory anymore. But I wanted to go back, I wanted to fell that innocent happiness again, I didn’t want to feel the pain.

 I really, really didn’t and as the throbbing in my head turned back into a pounding, I couldn’t help but cry.

“I want to go back”, I sobbed, my voice catching, the words tumbling over each other so it came out as more of a: “Iwanttogoback” but the arms around me responded nevertheless.

“But I’m here now, with you. We can be happy like that again ok? Just don’t leave me, stay here, breath.” He sounded slightly more like he was talking to himself than to me, but maybe he needed to believe this too, so I breathed in heavily and tried to calm down.

 “Let me through! C’mon Duncan, it’s only me, Amy. I can help her.” A voice said, it came from somewhere further back.

“It’s not me, I let down my wall already.” He answered, confused.

“Holy Shit! How strong is she?! I can’t even see you!” She sounded frustrated and angry.

“Rae? Mousy? Hey, you can hear Amy too right?” Duncan asked in a low voice. “ C’mon, show me a sign of acknowledgement, please mousy.” He put his head to my ear, so that I could hear him. I felt his breath on my neck and had to shiver a little.

I relaxed a bit more, concentrating on him and not on the pain. “I can hear you.” I tried to show him this thought somehow.

His breathe caught in his throat for a second, then he said:” How I love the sound of your voice right now.” I had to smile slightly and he hugged me tight.

“Now, can you please relax? Just breathe ok?”

“I am already, but I’m in so much pain. It hurts so much. It’s getting really hard not to just let go.” I sent him this thought again, trying to show him my pain. He flinched in response.

“Ok, you know what? Just-“ he stopped in mid-sentence, when suddenly a loud bang come from somewhere in the background.

“Damnit! Just let me in Rae!” Amy shouted loudly and again I heard a bang. It hurt this time. As if someone was kicking me. My focus in my head shifted, the sound suddenly gone.

“Duncan, I can’t – It’s getting harder.” I moaned this time, feeling a scream ready in my throat.

“No! Don’t, not now mousy! C’mon Rae!” Duncan’s voice was far away, too far to make a difference. Another bang gave me the rest.

The scream in my throat grew loud and I felt tears stream down my face. The pain grew unbearable and started to rip me up inside. My body jerked and moved on its own accord, my will wasn’t important anymore. The scream grew louder and louder, it seemed to be coming from inside me too.

It was in my head, making it hard to think. Then it reached it’s high. I didn’t feel anything. Everything went numb. My world seemed to shatter into a million pieces and I felt….calm. A darkness took over me and let me rest, now pain free.

The last thing I heard was Amy telling Duncan something. Even though I heard her hushed urgent voice, I just couldn’t understand the words she spoke. I couldn’t seem to hear the actual words. But instead of being able to listen better, something made it sound more faint when I concentrated on it. Then the numbness engulfed me completely and all my senses left me.