Grave

5.4

Lorcrar walked upright, drawn together by the strength of his muscles for the first time in years. But underneath the jumper his lower neck burned. And his hands were still shaking.

Loura was waiting for him on a chair opposite in the corridor. When he saw her face the trembling that had hold of his fingers skyrocketed, and he had to clasp them behind his back to prevent her seeing. There was something about having her there, waiting for him, that stirred emotions inside his gut he could not fully understand.

"Hey," Loura said. She studied Lorcrar's face. "You've got some dark circles there. Rough time?"

"Yes," Lorcrar said.

"What did they want?"

Lorcrar winced. There it was. "Look, Loura. I don't really want tte-" He stopped himself. Not again, he thought. Enough lying. There was a difference now. He did want to talk about it. He wanted her to know.

Suddenly the bell tolled, and they were hounded into line by the rush of students. They had the same class together. With his new energy and Loura at his side, the prospect of sitting in English the next 45 minutes seemed far less bleak.

As they walked Loura brushed her hand slightly across Lorcrar's jumper. The feeling rushed back into Lorcrar - discomfort. He needed to tell her now. "Loura," he said under his breath, pulling his arm discreetly away. "I know you think I'm a good person, and that I'd be normal if I wasn't poor and my father didn't hurt me. But that just isn't true. Things are deeper than that."

Loura looked up at the gaunt face by her side. "Things are always deeper, Sebastian," she said, slowing. "But if you want to clarify 'things', then tell me. Stop being cryptic."

Lorcrar smiled. "Okay. Then you stop calling me Sebastian. It's not my name."

They arrived at the classroom before Loura could retaliate. Loura sat in her normal seat up at the front, beckoning Lorcrar to come with her, eyes sparkling. His stomach froze up - having to sit at the front where everyone could see him was a nightmare. He followed her anyway.

He could feel the gaze of all the other students as they murmured judgement. But Loura didn't care, so neither did he.

They're hollow inside, anyway. Nothing. I could take all of them.

Barney shuffled into the room, scratching at his greasy hair. He stared with square eyes at the front desks.

"Hey," he said. "Sebastian, that's uh. That's kinda where I sit, so..."

Lorcrar said nothing. He knew his power now. For once being a freak could work to his advantage. Barney pursed his lips as Lorcrar's blank stare started to creep him out. He tapped his foot on the carpet. "Ah, huh. Just kidding." He swerved around the desks and sat on the other side of Loura, one desk after Izzy, who was chewing her pencil nervously and staring at Lorcrar.

---

Lorcrar and Loura strode side by side to the front gates. School was over, and for the first time in eight years of his life Lorcrar didn't want to leave. He had enjoyed class - he had even spoken up instead of falling asleep. And people weren't throwing papers at him anymore, or smirking, or kicking dust in his eyes. They were too afraid. They had no power anymore.

"So," Loura said grimly. "Guess I'll go. Well. To the shelter."

"What?" Lorcrar gripped the straps of his bag harder instead of kicking himself. He always spoke too briskly around her - it was so hard to contain himself.

"My parents kicked me out," she said. "Usually I'd go to this guy I know - Silver's house, but he's done with me too. He thinks I bring it on myself. And he's right, I guess. Sometimes I've gone to Izzy's but she won't talk to me because of you, and Collin-"

Lorcrar felt  breath catch in his throat as she spoke. The words exploded out his mouth before he had time to catch them. "Come home with me."

Stoat to hare.

His world reeled around him. White spots. Was he hunting? No, surely not - the gesture was genuine. Then how could he be so stupid? He had once lured people up there as a child, when his father was still mobile. Zabros had crushed their skulls at the door, while his young son shivered and tried to believe everything was normal. Stoat to hare. Act innocent, and they won't even feel the scream leave their throat.

Loura gazed at him in disbelief. "Uh. Okay? You really think that's..?"

Lorcrar huffed at himself. "No. No, it's not. But you just can't sleep at a homeless shelter."

"I don't have any other place to go," she said quietly.

He touched her hand. "No. Okay. You just have to promise me to stay quiet. You can't let him hear you. If he's asleep, I'll let you in. I have a mattress upstairs. I'll sleep on the floor." 

He pulled her arm forward and headed for home, a lump of terror lodged in his throat.

I'm not trying to kill her. I'm not.

"Hey." She grinned as he looked back at her. "Tell me your name," she said.

"Lorcrar."

Loura squeezed his hand. "Well," she said, still grinning. "That's weird."

She won't die. Not ever.