Love is Painful

Running with the wolves... well at least trying to!

Her crying was unusual before her family died, and after the attack it was just so unheard of.  She has not cried a tear, she didn’t even cry at the service for our family members, but she did clutch to my arm her werewolf clawing digging in deeper and deeper as we pasted each one of her brother’s headstones.  I got in the car and we went to Leana’s house still pack meets are held at my house during the day.  Leana went into the living room and turned on the TV, while I went to the kitchen to grab all the junk food I could carry.  I walked back to the living room, while Leana was surfing through channels I decided to go get some blankets.  As I make my way up the three flights of stairs to Leana’s room, I counted the doors remembering her brothers rooms that lie behind them…they were all so young.  Rose had ten children, six being from three sets of twins. I zoned in on the numbers.

1… Bentley & Jordan – 21

2… Ryan – 20

3… Finn & Robert – 19

4… Noah – 18

5… Gale – 17

6… James – 16

7… Luke – 15 & Leana – now 17

She never talked about them, I guess it was just too painful.  I grabbed the blankets and jogged back down stairs.

“Mason…”

“Yeah”

“Can we run?”

“Runaway?”

“No…let our wolves run?” Her head hanging low as if she already knew the answer.

“Leana I don’t know if that is a good idea….your da” she cut me off as I begin to speak.

“My DAD doesn’t give a shit what I do, sometimes I think that I would be better off died… Like EVERYONE else I ever loved!” she screamed.

I turned to ice… what about me, did she not love me… I loved her, just not in the way she thought I did.  So if she dies I’m going down with her.  “LEANA…” I yelled unintentionally, I took a deep breath and looked up.  “Leana… just please don’t say stuff like that, I don’t want to worry about you more than I already do…please I can’t lose you too, you’re all I have left” I said not wanting to spill as much as I did.

“Mason... our whole pack is stuck in this crappy human form while our wolves die inside us… I just don’t think it’s fair!”

“Really cause your human form looks pretty good to me from over here” I felt the goofy grin on my face as I eyed her body up and down.

“Well you’re not so bad yourself…But I’m serious Mason it’s not fair to anyone involved including us, we both know that what happened that day was not our fault so why is my father punishing us and everyone else in the pack?”

“I don’t know Leana, but there has to be a good reason”

“Mason you and I both know that there is no good reason, my wolf wants out and my alpha blood is starting to kick in!” As soon as she said it, it dawned on me, I forgot that since all of her brothers were killed she was leave to run the pack.  Even though she is a female the DNA her and Luke shared was meant to be for an alpha male so it still is in her blood to be alpha.  Even if her father won’t let her take her brothers place.  But in order for her to attempt to be an alpha she since needs to find her mate first but she can’t do that until she is eighteen and she still has a few months until then.  In wolf culture it was up to the female wolf to find her mate, and if she doesn’t they will both slowly go insane over time because they are without a true mate.  I’m eighteen and I just waiting, it sucks.  But in a few months the gods will ask the question I have been asking for so long.  Do I get to keep the girl I love? Here’s hoping!

“Your father is stuck in his ways, and being without his true mate he has been a little on edge.” I was trying to sound logically but it was becoming difficult.

“Mason it’s been TWO YEARS of my father being on EDGE! I can’t take much more!”

“Leana it is going to be ok I swear… Now let’s watch mean girls and be done with it please…” I patted the seat on the couch next to me, she dropped her mighty shoulders and threw herself down.